Be Still

Whoa! What just happened!

Previously on Be Still

" Why did you leave us God? Why did you let this happen?" This caused me to talk to God, something I haven't done in a while. I ask," Where are you God." In anger I ask again. After uttering those words I feel my heart pick up in speed. The only words turning in my mind were, " I'm right here."
Whoa! What just happened?
_______________

My confused thoughts were interrupted by my mom yelling for breakfast. I gather all my school belongings and roll out with my wheelchair in a daze. I park my temporary chariot at the table as my mother places a plate of eggs and bacon in front of my face. My dad and siblings were already at the table groomed and ready to eat. My mom made herself a cup of coffee before joining us.

Once everyone was seated my dad began grace as everyone joined hands. The thing about my dad is that his prayers are usually long. So my siblings and I made a pact to always sit next to each other. This way we can quietly munch on the food in front of us. When the prayer seemed to be coming to a close someone would tap on another person's knee three times, and we would rejoin our hands.

Typically I would do it, but today I was to stunned about what happened to join in. Ignoring my brother's tugging, I sat there thinking.

We eat in a semi-comfortable silence. My father's stares making it uncomfortable for me at least. His eyes showing a mix of anger and gratefulness. He was probably mad because of my behavior that got me in this situation. And grateful that I'm still alive, and not like Jack right now.

Speaking of Jack, " Dad can I go visit Jack today."
" I don't know Josh-"
"Please," I beg cutting him off.
"Sure Joshua," He says a smile forming underneath his mustache.
" Seriously," I ask excitedly.

After the accident, I was grounded. On the  night of the accident there was a party going down at a guy from our basketball team's house. My dad doesn't like the guy, so that basically means I wasn't allowed to go to his house at all. That night I lied to my dad, we went, and we almost died. It's all my fault that this happened. I haven't been allowed anywhere beside school, church, PT, and home. So this will be fun, I guess.

" Yeah, we'll go after I get off of work."
" Great, now that, that's settled." my mom says, " everyone to the car."

We quickly load up the car before heading off. My dad turns the radio knob until it lands on 97.3, the Christian radio station. Lately I have been bringing my CD player and listening to my own music, but today I listen. The song playing through the speakers catching my attention. He was currently playing one of my sister's favorite songs.

My heart leaping at the chorus as it said, ' All this time, from the first tear cried
'Till today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there, You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all
this time'

Hope sprang through me. Had God really been there. Was He listening to my prayers. Yet, despite this revelation I still had doubt.

Disclaimer: The song used in this chapter is not my own, it belongs to a wonderful singer by the name of Britt Nicole, its a great song by the way! I hope you all enjoy this lovely labor day and this chapter ! I know its very short, but there will be more on the way.