After Thought // Chance Sutton

Chapter Eight

"Hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone."

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I sat on the warm ground, the sun was beaming down on me, and that's when I felt her. My Mom, I'd been sitting at her gravestone for a little bit now. But when the dreary clouds opened up, it was like she caused it.

The feeling of love overwhelmed me.

"I wish I could come here more often," I said, it was weird. Talking to no one, yet even if nothing was in front of me. I knew, she could still hear me. "I'm sorry for that Mom. I don't even know how to tell you how amazing life is. Since my book getting published, everything has been a whirlwind. My YouTube channel has never been better, I have an amazing friend Dylan, and soon I'll be living in Los Angeles. Isn't that amazing?"

Before, even thinking about her brought tears to my eyes.

Yesterday after I got back home from the restaurant, I cried and called Dylan. It was only then that I finally told him everything about Chance. He convinced me that I should go see my Mom, that maybe it would help.

"How'd you know you were in love with Dad? Did it just come to you one day, or did you know from the beginning?" I asked, wishing in someway she could answer. "Aunt Ronnie tells me that one night was enough, to know that I loved him. But that's impossible, one night together isn't enough."

"It is if those two people are meant to be." I heard behind me, causing me to snap from my thoughts.

"Chance?! You scared the hell out of me, how long have you been standing there?" I asked, standing to my feet, brushing the grass from my knees.

"Long enough."

Today, he was clad in white shirt, and Adidas joggers. Simple, but it suited him well. I mentally slapped myself for even thinking that. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting my Grandpa." His eyes grew sad.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay, he passed away last year. I just like to visit whenever I'm in town," He explained. "Here to see your Mom?"

I nodded, "yeah. I haven't been here in a long time, it was time I came back."

"I didn't see another car in the parking lot, did you walk here?" He questioned.

" Yeah, it's only like a mile away."

"Need a ride back?" He asked.

My mind was telling me no, but my mouth had a head of its own. "Sure." I spoke.

You're supposed to be mad at him, I mentally scolded myself. Yet, after all that time, it seemed pointless to do that. We started walking to his car, and the silence was horrid. We aren't the same people we were three years ago.

"So, you're an author now?" He questioned, but the answer was obvious.  

"Yeah, and you're a youtuber?"

He nodded, "guess we both went through with what we wanted, huh?"

"Something I should probably thank you for," I said, avoiding his gaze.

"And why is that?"

"I think you know." I commented.

He opened my door for me, and I got into the passenger side. "I do, let me guess if it weren't for me you wouldn't have done any of that?"

I nodded, and had the biggest smile on the world plastered on my face. "Yeah."

"I should be saying the same thing to you, I would have never thought to go the route I did if it weren't for you. Look Beth- a lot happened back then. And we obviously changed each other's lives. I don't want to lose you again."

"Then please, I just want to know. Why did you let Abbi and Luther say all those things about me? If you didn't want to lose me in the first place." I didn't want to get angry again, it's not worth. But curiosity wrecked me.

"I really can't tell you, one day I promise I will."

Sighing, I said, "okay fine. I'm gonna hold you to that."

"You wanna get something to eat before I drop you off? I'm starving." He mentioned. "That way we can talk more."

"Can we go to Andre's?" I asked, excitedly. It's a burger restaurant on the other side of town. And although my Dad's restaurant is amazing, their burger's don't beat Andre's.

"Of Course, I haven't been there in forever."

Memory lane went by my eye's as he drove through our small hometown. Places I spent long hours, like the wooden park my Mom used to take me too. Or the little market that everyone here frequents.

I feel like, if I would have stayed and not moved life could have been dramatically different. Or if I said no to that internship in New York. I'm happy life has turned out the way it has. If only my Momma was here to see it.

When anyone asks me why I write, or who I write for. The answer is her.

Pulling up to Andre's a smile lit up my face and Chance noticed right away. "You really like this place, huh?"

"Mom used to bring me here every Sunday afternoon, it was our spot ya know?"

Walking in, it hasn't changed at all. It still looked like it was stuck in the past, with it's retro theme and bright colors. There wasn't anyone else there, made sense for it being late afternoon. I used to think coming back here I would stop being happy.

"Strawberry milkshake please," Chance said to the waitress.

"Same for me," I spoke.

"I'll get that right out to y'all." She said, turning on her heel to go back to the kitchen.

"Copy cat," he smirked.

"No! Strawberry is my favorite," I crossed my arms.

"Mine too."

Damn the way he was looking at me, made me melt into a million pieces. I couldn't have a better end to this trip.

I used  associate Ohio with all the bad things in my life. Turns out, bad things happen wherever you're at in the world because I had just as many amazing moments here. Ones that changed my life forever.

One of those moments is sitting across the table from me right this second.

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A/n: Usually I would make an excuse for not updating for over a week, but I just had really bad writers block y'all. Thanks for 200 reads though!