After Thought // Chance Sutton

Chapter Thirteen

    "There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice."

A/N: Sorry I waited practically a week to update. I got lazy and had no inspiration. Don't worry, I wrote tons today. Love ya'll x

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My first mistake was letting my head decide something my heart ached for. My second, distancing myself from Chance when all I wanted was to be with him. Living with contradictions, isn't the way to go about things, I know that. But reasoning with myself is almost impossible.

In Psychology, Sigmund Freud talked about how when it comes to meeting people, lovers, friend's it's not coincidence. That we meet who have already existed in our subconscious. The cynic in me does not believe a single word, but the writer in me does.

"It's dumb," Dylan spoke from his desk.

"What's dumb?" I questioned.

"That you haven't called him, or texted, especially when he's been blowing up your phone all day," he explained.

We officially moved into our house yesterday morning. It's been days since I've talked to Chance, I blame obtuse brain for that one. Call me a coward but I'm terrified of the thoughts I'm battling.

I rolled my eye's, "shut it Dylan. I'll call him later."

"Nope, you're gonna tell him in person."

"Hmm?"

"Team10 is having a house party, and guess who is invited," he winked.

"Fuck no Dylan we aren't-"

"We are going Liz. You need to tell him how you feel. It's the dumbest thing, you guys are crazy about each other so what's the damn problem. You can feed me all the damn excuses you want but you know I'm right," he said.

Instead of fighting with him, I just nodded and groaned. "You're right," I spoke.

His grin was large as he told me the details of the party. And walked into my bedroom opening my closet, which was only half put together. We spent all of last night unpacking but this huge house does not to us justice. Luckily, Paradise gave us some furniture to fill it otherwise we would have never been able too.

"What about this?" He asked, showing me a black romper.

"It way too low cut," I complained.

"Uh- not it's not. Your chest is the best asset you have babe," he winked.

"Of course you think that," I chuckled.

Am I scared to go? Should I be? Maybe Chance already hates me for ignoring him all day. What if I show up and he's not even there? I don't know why I am asking all these questions. I refuse to let my head win again.

My heart wants Chance, more than anything in this world.

I've never wanted a person more than I want him. He's the person I want to go on late night drives with. Stand in the pouring rain, dancing to music that isn't playing. Kiss at red lights. And spend sleepy mornings wrapped in blankets.

Why am I being so guarded then? Three year's ago I knew what I wanted. And a three long year's it's been. He's the only person I've ever kissed, and it should scare me. But it doesn't, I never felt that way about anyone else.

"Whatchya thinking about?" Dylan asked, as I straightened my hair.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know what you're afraid of. You're one of the fiercest girl's I know. You've built an empire for yourself off one book in the matter of months. From youtube, to countless interviews and now a movie. And when the sequel comes out you'll be plastered over every news headline in the country. How does one boy scare you?"

"Because, the person he knows me as isn't Lizzie Gold. It's just plain old Beth."

"Either way, you're pretty awesome. He'd be fucking crazy not to want you too." He said, changing his shirt for the third time.

I applied the finishing touches to my makeup, hair, and put on the outfit Dylan chose for me. Looking in the mirror, I thought I looked okay. The top of the romper was a lot tighter than I wanted it to be. But it paired nicely with the gold necklace I put on.

Dylan called us an Uber, considering neither of us have bought cars here yet. I guess that'd be the down side to LA. We can't walk, or ride the subway everywhere like we used to do in New York City. I haven't been here long enough to really tell if I miss NYC or not. We stayed in all day today. And I don't start back with meetings and such until Monday.

The ride there, we passed by mansion after mansion. And with each one, I wondered, how they could all look so cookie cutter. I'm definitely not in middle class, small town Ohio anymore. Lucky enough for us, the Team10 house is in West Hollywood too.

Turn's out, I don't live that far away from Chance after all.

Pulling up to the house, car's lined the streets and people were all over. I took a deep breath, remembering what happened the last time I went to a house party. Hoping this one will be memorable in a different kind of way.

Upon entering the house, it all felt a little too overwhelming. People staring at me, whispering. And then eye's went wide when I walked into the kitchen.

"Lizzie Gold!" A girl shrieked.

"Hi," I said.

"I'm a huge fan, your book is amazing. What the hell are you doing at my house?"

"Thank you! You're Erika right? I'm hoping to find Chance here."

"No way. So he really does know you? We all kinda figured he was lying. Check the garage? If not then probably his room. He's been really sad lately, and I know he wasn't in the mood to party." She smiled.

"Thank you so much!"

"No problem! Promise me you'll come back and find me though? I swear I have a million questions for you."

"Of course. Dylan is here too, if you wanna meet him. I totally lost him after we walked in." I spoke.

Moving to the back of the house, weaving through a few different sets of people. Trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I've always been bad at this type of thing. My heart is already racing a million miles a minute.

Where is he?

Open the door to the garage, eye's meet mine. But not the one's I am looking for. "Holy shit! Lizzie Gold! Turn's out Chance wasn't lying," one of them said. Anthony I think, I recognize him from instagram.

"Yeah, he wasn't. Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"His room probably. He's been cooped up in there for the past few days." Anthony explained. "Up the stairs, third door to your left."

"Thank you so much!" I said, before ducking out of the converted garage.

Now my heart is really pounding hard. Breathe Beth, I mentally couch myself. Over the loud music and drunk people I spot Dylan, who is talking to one of the other members of Team10. He winks at me, as I head up the stairs.

Just follow your heart.

A doorway has never seemed so large, in this moment. I knock, and wait a second but no answer. I inch the door open a little more, with one more loud knock. Yet, still nothing. And then I see him.

Towering over a petite blonde, his lip's planted directly on her's. "Fuck! Beth?" He notices pulling away from the shocked girl.

"Save it, asshole." I shouted, tears coming to my eye's.

My third mistake? Thinking someone who hurt me before wouldn't do it again.