Koyce; Defying Gravity

Karen Changes Her Life

Karen didn't love Ted anymore. She had known it for a while now. She wanted more excitement in her life and Ted always just sat there eating chicken and watching television. But she couldn't tell him that. She can't just say that she's breaking up with him because he's a lazy chicken addict. She had to make a plan.
This plan started with a box of chicken drumsticks coated in barbecue sauce. Karen planted them in their bedroom, AKA where Ted goes to nap as soon as he gets back from work. Ted got back from work and went to the bedroom as usual. Karen waited 15 seconds and then opened the door. Ted was slurping the sauce off a chicken drumstick as if he was French-kissing it.
"Making out with chicken! You cheater!" Karen shouted.
"What?!" Ted exclaimed.
"I think we need to separate." Karen said. Ted stood up.
"What do you mean separate?!" Ted yelled.
"Divorce! In fact, you're kicked out! Leave. Now." Karen insisted.

Nancy and Mike overheard this conversation. They went outside and had an extra sobbing ritual.
    "BARB!!!" Nancy cried.
    "Nancy, this isn't about Barb, okay?" Mike said. Nancy nodded and they went back to crying.
    "ELEVEN!!!" Mike shouted.
    "Mike, Eleven's back, remember? She's just in the hospital getting check-ups. You'll see her tomorrow, I'll never see Barb again." Nancy said.
    "Wow Nancy, stop making everything about you!" Mike whined. Then Nancy screamed. Then Mike screamed. Then Ted approached them.
    "Kids, I'm leaving, bye." He said and walked away. Nancy and Mike watched their father leave through the gate to the front yard with his suitcase. Then they looked the other way to see Jonathon with his portable breakfast stand.
"Not the time." Said Nancy.
"Why don't you want breakfast?" Jonathon asked.
"It's 4 in the afternoon!" Nancy exclaimed.
    "Really Nancy? Your mom has Christmas lights up in September! Anything's possible." Jonathon said.
    "Well your mom started that trend!" She yelled. Jonathon threw a spatula at her.
     "Ouch! What was that for?!" Nancy screeched.
    "I thought we were going to have an object fight." Jonathon said, ashamed.
    "Oh no Jonathon." Joyce said, "You only have object fights with me!"
    "When did you get here?" Mike inquired. Then Karen opened the back door and stepped outside.
    "Joyce, hi! I was just about to make a casserole. Would you like to come in and join me?"
"Mom! Mom!" Will shouted, running into the backyard. "The house is on fire!"