Why are you ignoring me?
Things had gotten a little more hectic as Hansol's debut was coming up. We barely got to talk in the last few months, and when we did, it was only short. And if it was hard now, I cant help but think I how hard it will be when hes actually an idol after debut.
I sighed at the text Hansol had sent me before replying.
I'm not.
His reply was instant.
Yes you are. You're not picking up any of my calls.
You can't do anything for me.
I can be there for you.
Its not the same.
He called again.
I didn't want to talk to him over the phone, I knew I'd give in. So I threw my phone to the end of the bed.
I tried to distance myself Hansol, not a lot, but just enough. Its not like I wanted to, it was just very hard having a best friend who couldn't always be there for me, who I couldn't talk to whenever I needed to. I realised, that as much as I want to, I cant rely on him anymore. I don't blame him, not at all. He's an idol now. He has responsibilities that will keep him busy. Too busy for me.
Not being able to help myself, I crawled to the end of my bed, grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. Two missed calls and a text message.
Why are you being like? Did I do something?? Just tell me Hana, I don't like this.
I ran my fingers through my hair, a habit I picked up from him. I didn't want to upset him, I just need to get used to the fact I cant always rely on him anymore. Its not his fault.
Don't worry, everything is fine :)
No it's not. Its been two months now and you still wont tell me
before I could reply he had sent through another message.
And I know exactly why.
How?
I was almost done with making dinner. I made enough for two but turns out mum isn't getting back from her work trip for a couple more days.
To be honest, she wasn't the only thing on my mind right now. Hansol still hadn't replied to my text and I wondered if maybe I went to far? Maybe I should've just answered his call once. I was a bit scared. I mean, I know he's always going to be busy but that doesn't mean I don't want him in my life at all. That's why I'm still texting him, or was. He hasn't replied yet.
I turned the stove off, finally done with dinner. It smelt good and I couldn't wait to eat it. It was sort of lonely eating by myself but I didn't mind too much. I began plating up my food when I heard the door bell ring. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, walking towards the door.
My heart stopped when I opened the door. It was him. He was bent over, hands on his knees, head towards the ground. I could hear him panting and it was evident he had rushed over here.
"Ha-Hansol." I spoke softly in disbelief.
His head shot up towards me, hair flicking back. His gaze was intense and I was struggling to move my eyes elsewhere, struggling to move at all. He straightened up, keeping his eyes locked on mine.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I know why you're being like this." He interrupted.
"Being like what."
"You're scared."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes you are. You think you can't rely on me anymore, that I'm too busy for you."
I didn't say anything, not for a while. Instead I ushered him out of the cold and inside towards the lounge. He didn't sit down.
"Its really good to see you." I said genuinely.
"Hana, do you trust me?" He said quickly.
I nodded. "Of course."
He grabbed my hand with his and looked into my eyes.
"I know its hard okay, I know i'm busy a lot and we don't always get to see each other. I've been struggling with this too. But you're my best friend, so please don't try and distance yourself from me."
"I wasn't." I turned away, probably looking guilty.
He shook his head with a slight smile, the first one he had since he knocked on my door. "What have I said about you always been a bad actor."
I turned back towards him, waking my hand out from his and using it to lightly slap his across the chest. "Shut up!"
He chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile a little.
"Its not like I'm trying to distance myself from you a lot, I still want you in my life. I know you're busy and I just thought maybe if I did a little bit, I wouldn't always feel the need to go to you".
" I don't want you to do that." He interrupted. "I wanna know everything, even the smallest things. Having you distance yourself from me has been shit."
I looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
"Don't apologise. I'm sorry I couldn't always be there for you."
I shook my head immediately. "That's not your fault."
"Look Hana, even if we're busy and cant see each other often." He fiddled with his fingers. "I just want you to know that you can lean on me. I care about you and I don't want us to ever stop being as close as we are."
I threw my arms around his neck in a tight embrace, feeling his arms immediately snake themselves around my waist. I inhaled his familiar scent, relaxing into his arms like always.
"its so good to see you again Hansol." I mumbled into his shoulder.
He pulled back slightly from the hug so he could look at me. I couldn't help but look over those handsome features I had miss so much. Before I knew it, he had removed one hand, bringing it to my face and using it to flick my forehead.
"ow?" I said touching the spot he had hurt.
"Now stop being lame, insecure Hana that ignores my calls and be fun Hana who's my best friend."
"Yeah yeah." I mumbled still rubbing my forehead. "I'm sorry you had to come all the way here just to remind me to stop being dumb. How are you even here actually?"
Hansol fell on to the couch behind him, making himself comfortable as I sat down next to him.
"I told my parents it was important so they came up with an excuse to Pledis and came and got me."
"Ahh now I feel bad that your parents had to do that."
"They didn't mind." He brushed it off. "But you know." He drawled. "I could've just said this to you if you picked up my calls." Hansol teased. "Guess you'll have to make it up to me."
Crossing my arms in a huff I gave him my best annoyed stare. I knew he was right but I didn't want to spend the night hearing about it.
"Actually.." I stood up, a thought suddenly popping into my head. I reached out my hand for him to take. "I might have just the thing to make it up to you for coming aaaallllll this way."
He looked at me speculative, clearly uncertain of what I had. Regardless, he took my hand and I dragged him into the kitchen. As soon as we walked in, his head raised up at the smell. His eyes immediately searching around the room till they landed on the dinner I had made.
His mouth turned into an O shape as he looked towards me in excitement. I laughed at his reaction.
He finally spoke. "Is, is that my favourite?"
