Some memories aren't meant to be revived.
Especially when they're lurking in the deceitful creases and folds of the treacherous night.
*extended summary inside*
Nick drives in to the forest, it's all deja vu for him.
It leads his tears to fuse with his sweat. He is paralysed by memories.
He is finally letting himself remember.
The smell of almonds makes him sick, and as he gets out of the car on to numb legs he throws up on to the forest floor.
His footprints have marked these leaves before. He'd like to say Miriam's had too, but when they reached the forest she was a drunken mess in his arms.
So fragile, so serene. But he knew that would soon be no more.
She was disorientated- and he was engulfed in a frenzy of mania and the pulsing of his own veins driving him to the brink.
He wanted to crush her bones. He wanted to break her neck. He wanted to burn her. He wanted to step on her, until the sickening snap of pressure applied had halted.
Nick couldn't have Miriam any longer, and like an expired product she'd be thrown to the flames and be no one else's ever again.
Nick can recall these thoughts and feelings he had felt, only wanting to create lucid despair.
Nick was done with Miriam. And now nick wishes he could resurrect her from the dead.
Because nick killed Miriam. And now he is finally letting himself remember, breaking through the barriers he had enforced in his mind.
God, he had loved Miriam so damn much. Their love was a source of hope and admiration. Wasn't it? Nick doubts himself, he doubts his crazed, killer mind. He doubts he'll ever be happy again.
Nick wishes Miriam had ran away, managed to escape his iron grip and clenched lips. He wishes he had never met her and tarnished her life. Using her as a catalyst for his own problems. He is nothing but a boy, who wanted to feel like a man in the only way he knew how. To be possessive and ruthless and get all he wants by mastering control and taming the things that matter least,
taming them until he has grinded them to dust.
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Nick carried an unconscious Miriam through the treacherous creases and folds of the translucent night. The forest held an ethereal onimosity, one that left forebodence in its wake.
He shivered but not from the cold, but from the rays of cruelty that transpired from the roots of gnarled trees.
It tainted him with greed, and the feeling of reigning power.
Miriam was placed against a tree trunk, her limbs spread out.
Nick had beat her until the old bruises ran in to fresh bruises, and Miriam's once endearing face became unrecognisable.
Sounds had filtered from her throat. Pleas and cries that ricocheted on deaf ears.
The forest too dense, a foliage that harboured more than woodland creatures.
Nick finished by placing his hands on her neck, he only let go of her when he no longer felt a steady beat against his fingertips.
She was stripped and dismembered, a grotesque jigsaw of misconstrued limbs.
Afterwards, as nick exhaled and felt a lightness transcend from within him, he had picked her up and laid her bones on the train track that ran along the edges of the forest.
He then felt the rumble of a train on the tracks, the vibration diving and frolicking with the own pounding of his heart.
He then subsequently retreated to the shadows, and watched with mirth as Miriam turned to ash.
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Nick had watched until Miriam was ash, then he had taken the pills he knew could rub everything away like salt on a wound.
Nicks own conscience and guilt, that he thought he had disposed of, lead him to remember. So remember he will, and like the tragic tale of two lovers, he'll burn as well. But In Hell
Miriam is Missing. Miriam was Missing. Miriam can finally breathe.
