Poems from inside the depths of my head

'Alone'

I hate the word 'alone'
I hate being 'alone'
It sucks being lonely a lot
Especially when you know that nobody wants you the way you want to be wanted
I want to love someone and have them love me back
For me of course
But nobody does or ever will it seems
It hurts
Try to isolate yourself while still being social
It will fuck you up like it is to me
I want a fresh new start
At a fresh new life
Because this life is getting harder to live
Struggling by for what?
To be made fun of? To be taunted? To feel 'alone'?
I've been at the verge of death many times
Sometimes I still think of his arms
How they would feel if I was in them right now
He'd keep me warm
He'd keep me safe
I wouldn't be 'alone' anymore
He lingers in the back of mind a lot
I feel the need to be with him
But I don't make the move
If he really wanted me
He'd come get me
He'd take me away from here
From all of this
So if he hasn't gotten me now
Then it clearly isn't my time to leave
But sometimes
I feel the need to make the process faster
...if you, dear F, ever read these poems
Wherever I may be
Let it be known to everyone how my mind truly is
Or was because who knows what will happen
You knew me
You knew some of the stuff that went on in my head
But you didn't know 'Me'