I'm being haunted by past mistakes
Even my therapist doesn't know what to do
I wish it were easier to admit
But I'm hopelessly more lost without you
I was your anchor dragging you down
You were a boat being casted out to sea
I held you down when I needed you
And you brought me up when you needed me
But life has been much harder
The struggle has been quite rough
My mind is getting deeper and darker
I think I've had quite enough
Life's not meant for everyone
That saying I have heard before
But how could I feel happy
But yet I'm more depressed than ever before?
I'm smiling and I'm content
My happiness at school is indeed the truth
But at night when trying to fall asleep
I suddenly become so blue
I guess I'm okay with death now
He doesn't scare me like he once did before
I've encountered his presence many times
Hopefully this time he actually waits at the door
I know this sounds depressing
But I am indeed feeling okay right now
I know my words are seeming sad as hell
But I promise you I'm okay
So please tell me why I'm like this
Why I smile then I cry
Why I'm happy but I'm dying
Why dying feels alright?
These thoughts won't let me sleep
PTSD comes into play
I hope one day I'll be alright
And survive another day
YOU ARE READING
Poems from inside the depths of my head
PoetryPoems and thoughts I think and can't seem to tell anyone without judgement or even belief. These come from the depths of my mind and I apologize if they make you cry.
