Healing Hailey

Hailey

I plan to tell James about the good news today. Although I could have told him yesterday I felt slightly annoyed at him. He got a new shiny toy, he got a little fame and he ignored me, left me almost.

I woke up uneasy about my feelings towards James the other day. Yes, it hurt but I cannot expect him to understand everything, all my untold feelings. I shake off the thoughts and go to school lighter, ready to share the good news.

Once at school I wait for James where I always wait. But the sound of his motorbike engine does not come. My curiosity and concern soon grow. I am happy not to see the motorcycle but obviously I have grown close with James, I want to share the good news.

The bell goes and I go into school. I see Ms Sage and I walk to her, she smiles and we step into her office.

"You don't look as happy as I thought you would." She says.

"Yeah sure." I say quickly. "Has James called? Is he coming in today?" I ask. Ms Sage sighs and motions for me to sit down. We sit down and I give her a confused look.

"He hasn't called." She says. "But I want you to think about your relationship with him. This school is full of children with their issues, they are all broken and are trying to repair. Hailey, James is definitely kind and charismatic. And I'm sure you are happy with him. But you are one of the best pupils and people in this school, do not let James take that from you." She says. My mouth bobs slightly as I look down and frown. I stand up and put my bag on my shoulder.

"Thank you Ms." I mumble and walk out. I go to my first class and text James.

Where are you? I need to tell you something. I send. It does not take long for him to see my text, but he does not reply. I check my phone for the next hour but still no reply. My anger grows, I turn off my phone completely and I settle at lunch.

I sit by my usual chair in the lunch hall and I read. I see James's friend Josh eating with his friends outside. Yes, I talk freely with James, but I am still quiet with everyone else. I would ask them where James is, even with my quietness, but I am the closest to James, if I don't know, I don't think they would.

At lunch I calm but it does not last. People keep trying to ask me about James's motorbike. I don't get angry at them, the surrounding area is fairly poor, so now with a shiny new expensive thing I don't blame them for acting this way. But I get angry at James again. How could he leave me? He knows I don't talk much, and it was obvious that I was asked questions. I am in one form of my hell and he doesn't seem to care.

Over the next two weeks the questions start to stop. But James has still not come to school. I have gotten one text saying he is OK and that is it.

On the Saturday I go shopping for food. I decide to treat myself as I only have one week of school left and I buy my favourite ice cream.

"Peanut butter cup, as always." A voice from beside me says. I jump and watch Harry laugh.

"Why are you here?" I ask quietly.

"Shopping." He shrugs.

"Ok, Goodbye." I say and walk away.

"See you soon." He says with his haunting voice. I pay and speed to my house. But I no longer feel safe. I decide to go to the bird tower. I should be safe there.

I look through and over the trees and I watch the small animals run across the branches. I smile, making me calm.

I rest my head back but it does not stay there for long as I feel the bird watching tower move slightly. It is not long before the familiar silhouette of James sits to my left. He rests his head back and sighs.

"So..." I say. "Where were you?" I ask, trying to cover my emotions.

"Home." He mumbles.

"Well, I was at school. Learning and trying to avoid all of the questions your new mode of transport." I say. Not mentioning my meeting with Harry earlier.

"Sorry." He mumbles again.

"James?" I ask.

"What?" he asks with a tired annoyed-ness. He looks at me with a slight frown.

"What happened to your eye?" I ask. My hand going to the scab by his eyebrow and my thumb tracing the bruised edge.

"My mum isn't working anymore, a regular came over and was angry so Harry and I beat him up and threw him out. You should see his right hook, it's amazing." He says in slight awe.

"I know it is." I spit. I shuffle away from him and cross my arms.

"Hailey..." he trails off. "He is not as bad as you think. He isn't even slightly angry at you." I glare at him.

"No James. I have been trying so hard to make things easy on you. I wanted you to tolerate him. I told you to keep the damn bike. You hated him as much as I did and now you are like best friends? I didn't want my past to affect your present or future because I care for you. I want you to be happy. But I trusted you to have some insight. You are choosing my tormentor over me and you've pushed me away. Harry scared me at the supermarket today. He loved it." I say and I step down the ladder. "Ms Sage was right. Everyone in school is broken, even you, and I can't expect a broken, weak person like you to help fix me." I say, tears forming.

"Hailey no, listen..." James says, now awake.

"No James. Go enjoy your new best friend." I say, I pull out the envelope in my left pocket and I give it to him. "I hope you are happy."