Ups & Downs

Three

AN:THIS MAY BE A TRIGGERING CHAPTER IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE PLEASE WAIT FOR CHAPTER 4
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[Liza's POV]

[Flashback - Lizas high school, year 12]

What will it be today? 'Your a fucking loser', 'Die', 'No friends' , 'No one will ever love you' , 'bitch' , 'slut' or 'attention whore'? Everyday a new scar appears, everyday a new bruise appears, everyday I have no emotions.. just.. nothing. I have no friends, no crush, no boyfriend, no life .. whats the point of it? We die anyways.. some just earlier than others. I put on a fake smile everyday, I pretend to be happy but when no one is looking I think about all my flaws, my problems and how shitty my life is. No one loves me, not even my parents. My siblings don't care. Whats the point?

I walk into the halls, the popular girls glare at me, the popular guys make fun of me, I sigh and look down at my feet as I walk. I look up and bump into someone.
"Oh..sorry" I pick up their books as well as mine.
"Here" he hands me my binder.
"Thanks.." I smile a little and keep walking, I hear from behind,

"Dude why are you talking to her? Shes the schools biggest loser"
"She bumped into me"
"Because shes so uncoordinated you mean?"
"Dude leave her alone, when I handed her binder back I saw she has scars on her wrists"
"Just for attention probably"
"Kian shes going through a hard time.. no one should joke about that shit"
"Shut the fuck up Noah, stop sticking up for her" I look behind me and see Noah is looking at me too, I sigh and continue to take books out my locker. Great now he feels sorry for me. I shut my locker and walk to my first class, English. As I walk into class the room fills with whispers, 'What is she wearing?' , 'Bitch' , 'Try hard' I find my seat right at the back of the class. I sit down and stare at the white board.
_
I walk out of Math for lunch and head to my locker.
"Loser! Oh sorry I mean Liza" Alena says and laughs with her two idiot friends.
"What now Alena?" I sigh.
"Look at litte loser Liza she will never be popular" Lia laughs.
"What year are you three in? 5?"
"No. Ugh being around you makes my eyes bleed" Sienna chimes in.
"Kian said that you had scars on your wrist. Lets see" Alena smirks.
"No" I slam my locker.
"Show us" Alena grabs my wrists hard, it stings and I bit my lip to take away the pain.
"Oh My God you do.." Sienna rolls up my sleeves, exposing all my scars, I pull my arms away and they laugh.
"Your an attention whore Liza" Lia says and rolls her eyes.
"No friends, no one loves you. You my as well-" I cut Sienna off.
"Kill myself. Well then your wish is going to come fucking true! Goodbye bitches" I quickly open my locker again and grab my bag.
"YOU WONT DO IT LOSER!" Alena yells and then laughs. I hold back tears and run through the corridors.. I go to the empty gym, the pain they caused me.. it ends now. I slowly walk into the middle of the gym and sigh..but also smile. I take off my jacket and undo my hair, I take out a piece of paper and a pen.

To all the bitches and all the jerks.
You got your wish, Im gone.. are you happy? happy that you killed me all because I wasn't like all of you? I was the slut, whore, bitch, loser and loner? WOW great one! Because of you all I cut myself, I wanted to die.. now I got my wish. So did you, did you all think that I was okay with the name calling? The abuse? The hate? I was lonely, depressed and unhappy. Everyday I would get another cut, I would get another bruise. You didnt understand.
I hope your happy.
- Loser Liza.

I quickly ran to the photo copier and copied my note over 400 times, As I ran back to the gym I threw the paper in all the corridors. I could see people picking up the pieces. I ran back to the gym and sat in the middle of the huge room. I dug through my bag and found my tiny razor. I begin to cry. I look away as I make the first cut.. it stings but then it feels the same as every other time. I smile and lay down on the cold lino floor, I carve into my arm 'your welcome' and on my other arm I carve 'look what happened' I could feel myself become dizzy and I could feel my arms were covered in blood. next..I put the tiny razor up to my neck.. I pierce my skin and wince at the pain...finally but as my eyes were closing.. I hear my name.
"LIZA NO" I black out..am I dead? Is this what feels like? Who called my name?
"LIZA WAKE UP PLEASE! OH GOD P-PLEASE" Noah?
"Can I please get on ambulance to......." I can't hear him now.. Im dying...
_
[Noah's POV]
Liza runs past me dropping pieces of paper.. I pick one up and start reading the note. People around me roll their
eyes and don't worry about it. I run after Liza, I cant let her die, I run to the gym and see her lying on the floor covered in blood..
"LIZA NO" I yell and run to her. shes loosing a lot of blood.. I call an ambulance.. I keep yelling for help.
"Noah?" I turn my head and see its Kian.
"Look what you've done Kian, look what you and half the school have done!" His face goes pale, he sees a note outside and reads it.
"Fuck" he whispers and kneels next to me. As the nurses come in they ask us questions but I just hand them the note. I go to the hospital with them.. please dont die liza.
_
[Liza's POV]
I wake up slowly.. Im in a Hospital? I let my eyes focus and see that Noah is in a chair next to me.
"Noah?" I say quietly. My throat is sore.
"Liza! Thank god your awake! I-"
"What happened?"
"I found you in the gym .. you almost died" memories flood in and I cry.
"How long have I been here?"
"12 hours.."
"Why didnt you let me die?" His face becomes pale.
"because.. I ..I couldnt, I read your note, so did half of the school"
"Good. I wanted to show them my pain, I cant go back there"
"Why?"
"I need them to think Im dead Noah"
"Okay?"
"You can tell them? And let me know how they react?" He pauses for a minute.
"Fine. Get some rest, Ill be back tomorrow after school"
"Bye" I fall back to sleep. Dammit.
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A/N: This was a flash back chapter, part of the next chapter will be too.
THIS WAS SO LONG ....AND UNEDITED
Remember, suicide and self harm should never be an option. If you need to talk please do! Im always answering messages ❤️
Thanks for reading!
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