p o e m s

unnamed girl

~trigger warning~

written sometime March 2017, but based on a time in March 2016

~

you were a lighter, and I was gasoline..

being a liquid, I took any form you wanted me too, even if it hurt.

but eventually, like every love I have,

you got tired.

you stopped liking my dances, so I stretched further, hurting every morsel in me.

but you were still unhappy.

so you took out your flame and told me nothing, our eyes never locked, but you threatened...

you threatened me with your flame,

so eventually I became desensitized to it.

and I set your fire to my insides for your entertainment.

because I didn't feel for me anymore,

i felt for you.

i breathed for you, and heaved for you

with my corrupted lungs and corrupted

thoughts.

my insides burned,

and you were still unhappy.

so you burned

your insides

too.

that hurt more than the scorching pain in my body,

you hurting yourself hurt more than you hurting me.

so I let you gas out your flame on me.

explode and use all your emotions on me.

while I stayed because I hoped,

maybe one day,

the explosion we made would make love.

but even after you left for a better match ( okay serious but pun intended )

i continued to set fire to my insides for your entertainment.

until I realized, you weren't watching..

so why did I continue?

because you made me love it.

the toxic flame running through my body,

my mind screaming at me to stop,

my form, nothing.

but now I've become my own flame.

now I've moved on.

thank you.

and even though I'm thanking you,

that doesn't mean I still don't

heave through life, coughing,

crying.

and that doesn't mean every time I see you, I see a stranger, no.

i see a lighter with no gas left,

a human with no heart.