Leaving Justin Bieber

Chapter 59

Day 13:

Today hasn't started off in the best of days, the nurse has given me what seems to be some sort of soup

The hospital kind...

Harry waited until she left before giving me my chicken nuggets, earning frowns from mum and lots of head shaking to herself

I have no tests today, but still a no go on getting out of bed again

I tried to give Scooter a call but there was no answer, I'll try again later today to see if Justin has taken his pill this morning

I miss him so much

I love you always,

Natalie x

• - • - •

Justin P.O.V

I felt the pain in my head as I reached my arm out to switch off my alarm

I'm not sure why I set one anymore because I have no reason to get out of bed. No plans, no shows, nowhere to go

Rolling onto my back, I stared at the ceiling in hope to feel some sort of motivation for the day. But I fell short when I noticed my pill bottle in the corner of my eye

One glass of water, and one pill to take

Just one

I groggily sat up and rubbed my face carelessly, slowly unscrewing the lid and tipping out a pill. Thoughts raced through my head as I thought how quick and easy too many of these could go so wrong

But would it be wrong?

I thought long and hard about it, staring at the photo in the mirror frame

I hesitated for a second, before quickly popping a pill into my mouth and swallowing the water hard. Cringing at the feeling of the pill dragging down my throat. I coughed and spluttered slightly before shaking my head quickly and slamming both the glass and the bottle back onto the table

Not paying attention, my door opened to Scooter with a phone in his hand

'Good morning, is this a bad time? It's Natt'

I shook my head slowly and sat up, holding out my hand to take the phone from him. I quietly cleared my throat as Scooter left suddenly

"Hello?"

'Good morning! How are you feeling?'

I smiled slightly, it felt good to hear her voice in the morning again

"Meh, I've been better"

She sent a small laugh and asked the question I knew she'd called to hear the answer to

"Yeah I've just taken it, I hated every second of it, but it's down"

I heard the small applause from her tapping her hand on her knee

'Well done Justin, I knew you could do it. Does it not feel good?'

I rubbed my forehead tiredly

"I feel like shit so no"

She sighed quietly, making hardly any noise

'You'll feel better soon, you'll see. You just need to get into a routine of taking them, we'll have the old Justin back'

I froze at her comment

"The old Justin will never be complete without you"

The line was silent, too quiet for my liking. I became awkward and I struggled to think of something to say without digging the hole deeper. Without thinking, I hung up

I desperately prayed she would call back so I didn't have to, but she never did, so I gave the phone back to Scooter and lied that she had to go because she was busy

He bought it, obviously

I couldn't stop thinking about why I said what I did! I was giving her mixed emotions, different feelings to what I was feeling. Did I still love her? Selena was out of the picture because of what she did! But was the love still there for Natalie? Was it the same on her side? My mind ran wild at the endless possibilities of us both

Scooter had just shut the boot of his car before I watched the crew all get into the van with cards and flowers

Was it someone's birthday?

I watched the car pull from the driveway but I shrugged and got back into bed, there was no reason I need to be up now. The pill had been taken, so me moving was unnecessary. I took a quick picture of myself in bed and posted it to instagram in hope of some sort of company, but all I got was abuse and negative comments from non supporters and my biggest fans

I was a complete wreck, and everyone knew it

• - • - •

Natalie P.O.V

I heard a knock at the door and the nurse glanced over a frown. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was just as clueless as she was

She walked over and slipped out of the door, she popped back in and asked if I was expecting visitors today, but Harry and mum had plans.

Scooter gave a small wave from outside of the door and I waved for him to come in. I sat up straight and propped by pillows to rest on as they all came thru with balloons and cards and flowers

"What's this for?"

They all came over and hugged me one by one, placing things on my table and tying the balloon strings to the end of the bed

'We heard the news so we knew we needed to come, we needed to see it for ourselves or it didn't feel real. How are you?'

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes smiling

"I'm not great but I'm trying"

Scooter rubbed his hands together and let out a breath puffing his cheeks out hesitant

'So at least you're okay and not dying'

The crew laughed and some awkwardly smiled, however this was far from the truth and I was in fact dying, much quicker than I would have liked

"Guys I need to talk to you all seriously, no joking or messing around. It's a harsh matter and I need you to focus"

They all sat forward and some sat on the bed

"The doctors have found a brain tumour. It's in depth in my head which would make surgery extremely difficult and possibly life threatening. However, the tumour is incredibly aggressive and unfortunately I've had to come to terms with that I don't have long to live and I will pass away most likely in this hospital soon"

There was no sound

Silence, complete silence

Ryan took a breath in and opened his mouth to speak

'But...'

No one looked at him, no one moved

He stopped in his tracks and closed his mouth again and it did not reopen. People at the back held hands, Scooter hadn't moved a muscle since I'd spoken.

The door creaked open again, and Justin's mum walked thru carrying a bunch of sunflowers

My favourite...

I fidgeted awkwardly as Pattie didn't really know me, but I knew she wasn't keen

'Hey Natalie, the doctors told me everything'

She bent down and squeezed me into a hug. She then slowly took my hand in hers, and smiled as tears rolled down her face. She read me a verse from the bible about love, I closed my eyes and listened to her softly read it to me.

After 10 minutes or so, I let out a breath of relief that I'd finally spoken to everyone to get it off my chest

Well, not everyone

"So, my harshest fear and the hardest question.."

They looked up, dreading what else was going to come out of my mouth. Pattie rubbed my hands and rested her head into her other hand, she knew what i was going to ask

"..who's going to tell Justin?"