Leaving Justin Bieber

Chapter 60

Justin P.O.V

Life was getting harder

Days were getting longer

Nights were darker

I was in a bad place, and I couldn't get myself out of it. The pills were tougher to swallow, some nights all I did was cry, some I couldn't even force a single tear

My deal with L.A Reid was cut after Selena was arrested, something about the wrecking of his label and his business image

Fans had turned on me, no one was playing my music, friends I once had were nowhere to be seen

Texts ignored, voicemails unanswered, calls blocked

My social media following was at an all time low

Looking down at my phone, Scooter was calling

"What?"

I heard a few chatters in the background and monotone speakers and people's footsteps walking around

'Justin we gotta talk man'

I rolled my eyes

"I'm fine scooter I'm taking my meds"

'No Justin, this isn't about you'

I laid back and stared up at the ceiling, shocked that it wasn't about me, I'm sure I was told that the world didn't revolve around me..how strange?

'We're visiting Natt in hospital and-'

I sat up instantly

"You're with her!? Without me?!"

He sighed and I heard him sit

'Look we heard the news, we didn't want to stress you out justin! You need rest and a lot of help'

I laughed

"She's my best friend!"

There was a pause

'And where were you when she needed you Justin? Because right now, you're not even here to help support yourself. I'm not even sure what you're doing'

I calmed my breathes and licked my lips nervously

'Justin she's in a really bad way, do you wanna come visit her?'

"How bad?"

'Justin it's bad'

"I said how bad god damn it !"

There was another pause

'Justin she has 2 weeks to live, she has a bleed and an aggressive tumour'

I covered my mouth with my fingers and sobbed silently

'Do you need someone to come and get you?'

My actions and behaviour had done this, I was to blame for my down fall and I was defeated. Nobody wanted me around and I knew it, I'd heard it all my life from random accounts, I'd just always been in a better place to ignore it

I glanced at my pills on the bedside table, and thought about what scooter had said. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes hard, I was in two minds.

Could I be selfish? Is this what I really want?

Would they understand? Would they remember me?

My mind raced and I began to get dizzy. I laid back on the bed and just let out a breath. I had no idea what I wanted. But I had no intention of becoming motivated to help myself become better. I was just in a bottomless pit of despair.

My anxiety and depression was becoming difficult to cope with, and I was really struggling. I'd heard of celebrities going crazy and off the rails, but was this it? Was this what it was like?

I wanted help and I desperately needed help, but would the tabloids get there first? Could I seek help and guidance without being plastered over every magazine about my issues?

That's the thing about being famous, you can never have anything for yourself. You have to share it with the world

"Tell her, everything's gonna be alright"

Scooter sighed

'Justin please come'

I shook my head

"Scooter please tell her! Tell her that I'll be waiting for her when she gets there"

There was no reply

'Wait Justin'

I ended the call and opened my texts

"Natalie <3

For you, I would walk a thousand miles, to be in your arms holding my heart. Oh I, oh i love you. And everything's gonna be alright, be alright. You know that I care for you, I'll always be there for you. I promise I'll just stay right here. I know that you want me too, baby we can make it thru anything. Cause everything's gonna be alright. Be alright.

I'll be waiting for you baby girl,

I love you always"

I took the bottle off the table and picked up the frame of her in it, I went into the bathroom, and I locked the door

I stared at myself long and hard in the mirror, wiping my tears from my face. Picking up the frame, I sat down against the wall of the bath and smiled. Opening the pill bottle, I rested the frame upright in the middle of the floor

"With the strength of our love, we can go nowhere but up"