2010
Addison's POV:
Underwear the next morning was needless to say, very painful. I was sore and sensitive, but I didn't regret not one of my fifteen mind blowing orgasms.
"Good morning" Sam greeted me with a smile at the breakfast table the next morning. Meredith was still asleep, and Derek was sipping coffee out on the deck. He wanted to soak up all of the warm sun before going back to rainy and grey Seattle.
"Good morning, how was your night?" I ask him nicely, sipping on my own coffee. I never heard them get home; after Meredith and I finished having the most sex I'd ever had in my life, we cleaned up the living room and headed to bed. We were both so worn out, we didn't have time to be sad that we'd be sleeping in separate beds.
"We had fun; we were out pretty late, playing darts and pool and poker. You looked so exhausted when I got home, I wanted to make sure I didn't wake you" Sam explained, crunching on some toast.
"Do you have anything planned for today?" I ask "Meredith and Derek are only here for the weekend, I want to make sure we do something fun so they can say they had a good time in LA" Sam kisses my forehead softly, before answering.
"I'm sure we'll find something; we can worry about the details after I've had my coffee and my fill of looking at your gorgeous face"
Sam was too good for me; he was such an amazing person, and I felt awful doing this to him. As much as I did love him in a lot of different ways, I didn't love him in the right ways.
"You're extremely happy this morning" I kiss his cheek lightly and lean on his shoulder "must've slept well"
"I slept next to you; of course I did"
~
The day went by quickly, and before I knew it, we were at our practice, showing Derek and Meredith around after a day surfing at the beach and exploring the boardwalk. We had an amazing time.
"This is a really nice place, Sam" Derek commented, as we walked through the practice. Sam and Naomi co owned it, and I helped with operating and made sure things kept running smoothly.
"We did some renovations recently, Naomi's been making lots of extra income with her fertility patients. She's created so many babies, it's amazing" I tell him, as we walk into Sam's office and sit down on the couches.
"It's huge, you really wouldn't think it from how amazing it's laid out" Meredith said in awe, sitting next to Derek.
"I love it here" I answer, only lying slightly "I love being able to choose my hours and being able to have more time to myself. It's extremely relaxed and slow paced, but I still get to do what I love"
"You don't miss surgery?" Derek asks inquisitively.
"I do some surgeries every now and then for Charlotte at St. Ambrose Hospital" Charlotte was the chief of staff at the hospital and also a fellow doctor at our practice. But, truth be told, I did miss surgery. I missed the rush of it, the feeling of saving someone's life, the absolute awe and extraordinary things that can be done. I did miss it, but I was comfortable where I was, doing what I was doing.
"Do you ever miss Seattle?" Derek asks "I'm not trying to be nosy, but I can't help but feel homesick for the rain and I've been here not even two days" he jokes lightly.
"I do miss the rain sometimes" California barely ever rained, and at first, I loved it. I was so sick of the rain, it was nice to have some sunshine. But it gets very sickening to wake up to sunlight every single day after a while. Some days when I wake up, and I don't feel like myself, those are the days when I want it to be raining. Those are the days when I miss the rain, because all I want is for the weather to match my mood.
It's extremely obnoxious for the sun to be so gorgeous up in the sky when you're feeling sad.
"The sun is tiring after a while" Sam agreed with me "but it's perfect weather for weddings"
The room went silent, and before I can even comprehend what's happening, Sam is down on one knee with a small black velvet box resting on his palm.
"Addison" he smiles up at me, opening the box to reveal a shining ring. "I have been in love with you for two years, and I want to be in love with you for many more. I want to wake up to you, to go to sleep with you, and to be your partner in every single aspect of life. You are the love of my life, and I'm asking you if you'd do be the honour of becoming my wife"
Everyone's looking at me expectantly. Derek's smiling, Sam's smiling, and Meredith looks like she saw a ghost. I feel frozen in place, as if my voice won't work. My heart is pounding, and I know, I screwed up. I am not in love with Sam and I know I never will be. He isn't the love of my life, and it's cruel of me to let him think that.
I can't spend the rest of my life, settled for Sam, when I know he won't ever compare to Meredith.
Thinking of Meredith I look over and her, and meet her grey eyes. She looks terrified; like this was the last time she'd ever see me. And I suppose, it was. If I said yes, this would be the last time she'd ever look at me the same. I know I looked at Meredith differently for a long time after she got engaged. Even now, being so in love with her, just glancing at the shining diamond on her finger was enough for me to look at her differently.
Silently, Meredith nods, small and slow. But I see the pain on her face, I see how much she's hurting. Most of all, I see regret.
It's okay she's telling me silently I did it to you, I won't be angry if you do it back. Whatever makes you happy.
"Well?" Sam asks, still smiling as he breaks my train of thought.
"I-I" I stammer, unsure of what to say, how to answer.
"Oh for gods sakes Addie, say yes already!" Derek laughs, excitement in his eyes.
"I can't" I stand up abruptly "I'm sorry" and then, I'm out of the room and running for my own office, locking the door and pulling the shades closed behind me.
Whatever makes you happy.
Meredith's POV:
Addie left like the room was on fire, and a horrible as I felt, my stomach lightened and I could breathe.
She said no, just like I should've.
I stood up, and went to go after her, but Derek grabbed my sleeve lightly.
"Why don't you let Sam go after her? I'm sure she didn't mean that" Derek tried to reason with me. But this was my Addie, the love of my life. I couldn't not go after her.
"I'm so sorry" I face both Sam and Derek "you have no idea how unbelievably sorry I am" my heart was breaking in my chest, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
"What do you mean?" Derek asks me, face looking as puzzled as Sam must've felt.
"I am sorry" I take in a deep breath, preparing myself for the ocean I was about to jump into "but I'm in love with her"
Quiet.
"Meredith?" Derek asks me, looking not only puzzled but hurt now as well.
"I'm sorry" my voice breaks "I should've told you; but I fell in love with her two years ago and she left me. When she came back to Seattle, we reconnected and I fell in love all over again"
Derek and Sam both look shocked and hurt; like they'd been slapped and they weren't sure by who.
"Why stay with me?" Derek asks, anger and betrayal were not at all evident in his voice like I'd expected. Just hurt. Heartbreak.
"I didn't see how it could work with us" I explained "she and I were so different; and I couldn't just up and leave you when you did everything right. You left her, you loved me, and I wanted so bad to love you back the same way. To repay you for everything you've done for me"
"This" Derek shook his head "this isn't any better. You should've left me"
I just nod. "I know"
YOU ARE READING
Something beautiful
Fanfiction"I haven't seen her since I came back; I heard they were engaged" nobody knew that Meredith and I had been whatever we were. Nobody knew, nobody would ever know, and it was almost heartbreaking to think that the world would be void of any trace of w...
