[CLOSED FOR SUBMISSIONS] Stronger than You 2017

Part 3: Never Stop Fighting

Written by: Angie

Domestic violence comes in many forms. Most people think it's just physical but emotional and monetary are most times involved. Even sexual abuse is domestic violence. The abuser forces you to have sex but you think, 'he's my husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend I shouldn't deny them. But if you say no or do not want to have sex and your forced that's still abuse.

Name calling and degradation starts the emotional abuse.

Being told you will be alone and no one will want you constantly makes you doubt your self-worth.

The abuser holds all the money and ways of leaving. No landline, keeps cellphone with him, takes the car and all takes your wallet so you are stranded and depend on him for everything.

The smallest word or action sets him off and a hit comes to your head. Thrown across the room into a table. Knife held to your throat. Threats to your children. (His children)

Domestic violence is more common than anyone thinks. Most never get reported or dealt with.

There are signs, you just need to know what to look for.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

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Finally stood up for myself and got help!

Married at the age of 16, first child at 17, divorced at 28 with three kids. Signs I should have seen but was to 'in love' to acknowledge. By the time I realized what was happening the physical violence had started. Next came the monetary and the emotional continued.

Several years into the marriage I was asked by several family members if I was okay, if he ever threatened or hurt me. Of course being young I didn't know what they were actually asking.

Eight years into the marriage and my eyes popped open and I stood up for myself and my kids. Valentines Day was not a day of love and romance for me. It was the day I pressed charges on my husband for domestic violence.

It was the hardest thing I had to do but a punch to the head and a gun slammed into my shoulder and being told to grab the kids and get in the car had me terrified. And that was late that night. The morning was just as terrible, knife held to my throat. Tied to the bed, lighter fluid poured on me with him standing their flicking a lighter. Awhile later he apologized and wanted to 'make love' but I said no. That didn't matter to him. After that I was allowed to take a shower.

He finally left, taking the phone, money and car. The afternoon went by quietly until he arrived home high and woke me up delirious and asking who was in the room. Ranting about me always cheating he yanked me out of bed by my hair and punched my in the head.

Picking myself up off the floor I tried reasoning with him but he was not listening. He grabbed my arm and threw me across the room, knocking over a table and hitting the window. Dazed I didn't immediately get up so I was 'helped' up and dragged into the living room with more yelling and accusations. Stopping at the front door I saw the rifle in his hand. That's when I thought this was it. Then he told me to get the kids and get in the car. On the front porch I said we weren't getting in the car and suddenly the butt of the rifle was slammed into shoulder. Stumbling I grew anxious and prayed my kids wouldn't be harmed.

Luckily our neighbor heard everything and called the cops and as we were almost out of our little subdivision they passed us and turned around making us turn and wind up at his brothers house. I really have no idea how many cop cars were there but they surrounded the car and he was taken out. Fear for me and my kids I stayed in the car until a cop opened my door, picked up the rifle and asked if it was my weapon. Answering no he told me to stay there and left with it.

Another cop came and asked me what happened and after several minutes of battling with myself I finally told what just happened and what had been happening the past few weeks.

Seeing him handcuffed and put in that car brought relief. It would finally be over. A very aggressive court hearing later sent him to prison.

My physical abuse was only months but emotionally it was years without me realizing. I was lucky in that I got away from the situation but many do not. Whether they do not have the resources, are threatened if they leave or they just feel they can't press charges they stay and let the abuse continue.

I'm a domestic violence survivor! —Angie