[CLOSED FOR SUBMISSIONS] Stronger than You 2017

Part 17: Free Me

Written By: May

When I first saw him I had what teen romance writers call a spark, from that moment I liked him, he was the new kid in school walking past me in the maths class.

He was quiet and shy.

I was quiet and anxious.

He took the same bus as me to get home, he used to sit with his two sisters and I sat with my friend.

Nothing really happened for months, I remember trying one time asking if he wanted to borrow my text book but all he did was stare and then turn back around.

It wasn't until April 2016 that he added me on Facebook and a couple of days after it was his birthday.

It took my entire art class to convince me to message him happy birthday, as you see I wasn't very good at hiding things.

I remember him replying just saying thank you and I was ecstatic.

The next time something happened was a few days after that, it was after the bus driver had taken the wrong turn. And then the next day after that which lead to 3 days full of conversations, well as full as possible since I was in the Outback with no signal.

I remember him telling me on the last day of the three that he liked me and was hoping that we could be in a relationship. I told him that I wanted to take things slow and actually talk to him face to face before I took a step like that.

I hadn't had a relationship before that time and neither had he, two 16-year olds both inexperienced in the relationship world. Both never had been kissed, nothing relationship wise.

I met up with him the next day both awkward and uncomfortable. I had to regulate my breathing constantly at the time since I had a panic disorder.

First two weeks of us hanging out together at school were quiet and with a massive space in between us.

After those two weeks he asked me out and I accepted, it was amazing.

We got a little bit closer each day from then, meaning actually closer physically.

It took us a month before we held hands or hugged.

It took us a month and a half before we kissed.

I have never regrated something so much in my life.

We were at his house, in his room, laying on his bed.

We both just moved in to kiss, I automatically closed my eyes, but he would never shut his.

After the first kiss it escalated so quickly, he went on to try and have sex with me without asking, it was just dry humping but I didn't want it, but I didn't know what to do, I thought that it was normal.

I constantly grew up hearing how girls are just there to please their partners and that they should do so without complaining so I didn't, I just accepted what he wanted to do.

We had a five-week school holidays and I wasn't allowed to go home, I had to be anywhere but home. So, I just stayed at his house during the day, his mum and stepdad didn't mind me there and his sisters didn't have to worry about him tormenting them.

The days were long, I only had him and his family to talk to.

He liked to go through my phone reading my messages, he liked to go through my contacts and friends list on Facebook telling me who I could and couldn't be friends with.

So, I just found myself doing what he wanted, sleeping and watching him play on his PlayStation.

I was fine with it at the time, every time he won a match he would kiss me or talk about how beautiful I was to his friends.