His Secrets
"I'm sorry.." he looked down.
"Where's her mom?"
"She passed away on the day she was born. She was diabetic and she just bled herself out." he said while remembering the day when his daughter was born.
"Why did you keep this away from me?" she asked again.
"Because I love you." he simply stated, looking into her eyes.
"If you love someone, you don't blind them from reality, from the facts! And how can you love me? I just asked your help to pretend?! Two months and now you're so sure you love me? How can you say that? Don't you love her mom?!" Emy did not realize she was already shouting until Damon could no longer dare to look at her. He looked down and he is hell sure he is ready to cry but his ego did not let him too.
"You know what... Forget it. Forget I said I love you. That didn't mean anything." he said and stood up and went to where Emilia is sleeping soundly.
"D-Damon, I didn't mean to..." Emy stuttered as she walked behind Damon but he didn't stopped to listen to her. She felt bad and she said everything so quickly. A part of her wants to force him to take the last thing he said.
Damon just sat beside his little Emilia, he stared at his sleeping angel. One day, she will be asking for answers. Answers that might break his heart and all he wants is to protect her from all of it. But at times he fail just like how he fail tonight. His hopes got too high and his hopes failed his little Emilia.
"Hey.." Emy spoke as she leaned on the door frame.
"Hey.." he answered back and quickly took away his eyes from her.
"Look, I'm sorry.."
"I don't want to talk about it anymore.." he said and stood up. He walked towards her with a smirk of sadness, "let's just get things clear tonight. " he continued and then bend down and placed a gentle kiss on her sweet lips, the last kiss he will be giving to her. The kiss of giving up.
"Damon." Emy whispered his name as she looked at him with the kind of look he never wanted to see on her. The look of pity, maybe because he is a father at a young age.
"Shhh." he said and placed his index finger on her mouth. The moment is solemn... solemn enough, he could hear his heart shattering. "You may think I have shown you everything about me... but I haven't. I haven't showed most of me and because of that reason, I want you to forget whatever it is that you think we have. I'll pretend to be your boyfriend and no more than that." he said and went back to Emilia. He carried the little angel and bade goodbye to Emy.
Emy was left dumbfounded. She lost all his words after hearing what he said. She wanted to stop him from speaking but she can't push herself to. All she has tonight is Damon, her Chihuahua, who is busy barking at their back door.
Damon drove back to his house. He is angry, he is sad, he wants to just speed up as fast as he could but he needs to be in control. Another life is in his hands.
Emilia is never related to him. This kid was a product of one of his friend's mistake. Her mom was also an orphan, just like him. The difference was she never got a chance to be adopted and that's why she somehow gave up on life.
When he got adopted, he constantly visited the orphanage but Emy and him never got a chance to meet again. Nuns say that little Emy stopped visiting. That's when he got close to Emilia's mom. She was kind, full of hopes but when life was being hard on her, she gave up. She lived her life without beliefs or care for others. She started drugs and slept with guys she doesn't even know. He tried to stop her but she somehow became a different person.
Until her lifestyle got her pregnant. Somehow he was able to convince her to live again for her daughter to be but sometimes, God is fickle minded. She was diagnosed with diabetes in the middle of her pregnancy. He was there when she broke down, he was there when she was about to lose hope again.
"I can't.. I can't have this child.." he remembered her words as he tried to talk her out.
Damon glanced at the sleeping child. Sarah gave birth to this little angel. And as a loving mother would do, she died for her child. His adopted father personally arranged his friend's delivery session but their are lives he could not save. When life ends, it ends. She bled so much and she lost too much blood. His father called it postpartum hemorrhage.
No one tried to claim to be the father's child. He asked his father about the custody of the child and his father's first option was to give to the orphan home but he knows how it feels to be given away and he doesn't want to see anymore newborn to feel like how he felt. He asked his father and he was able to make him say yes. In legal papers, he is the father. He wanted to because he promised Sarah he would take care of her child no matter what.
As the little girl grew older, questions started to become harder to answer. He wanted to keep away her biological mother's identity.He doesn't want her to feel guilty or sad or whatever feelings that can destroy her like the one that destroyed Sarah. He promised to take care of this little angel and he is doing it his way. Even if it means sacrificing his own happiness.
A guy like him may be hard to understand because not everyone have the same experience with Damon's.
"You're home late." his adopted father welcomed him.
"I'm sorry." It was all he could say.
"How was your day?" Stephen asked.
Even though he is an adopted son. Stephen never really showed him the boundaries between them. He made him enjoy what he have, including his wealth.
"I don't know dad. It was a total failure." he replied. "Why are you still wearing your doctor's coat?" he said as he walked his way to the stairs with Emilia in his arms.
A depressing sigh came out of Stephen, "another patient died."
"I'm sorry." he said and continued walking.
"Nah,, I'll just see you tomorrow. Get Emilia to her room and you too, take a rest. It's been a bad day for us." Stephen said and raised his bourbon glass, like making a cheers.
Instead of bringing Emilia to her room, he brought her to his room and laid her properly. He then changed his clothes and laid beside his child. Emilia's facial reaction changed while her eyes are still close, she must be having a bad dream. He hurriedly patted her hips and sang in low voice. He looked at the little angel and he remembered how he had the idea of what to name her. He actually named the little girl in reference to Emy's name. So that one day, he can proudly tell Emy how kind he was and how much he achieved, but it wasn't anymore the case.
He kissed Emilia's forehead and then he tried closing his eyes as well. If he can't be Emy's lover because of what he has, then he will just be contented of being Emilia's father.
~~~~~~~~~~~
a/n
HAPPY FIRST 500 READS TO THIS BOOK CONTRACT PAPERS!!! spread the love and the book guys. hehe.
love lots,
~simplywhimsey^_~
