Breaking His Own Heart
A special epilogue for Tommie.
~Tommie's POV~
Everyone thinks it was easy deciding. Everyone thinks it was easy watching how the person I have loved so much be with another man. Everyone thinks it was easy to be me simply because I'm wealthy and I have the influence but no.
Watching her walk down the aisle with her wedding gown as beautiful as ever, it breaks my heart into a million pieces to know that I will never be the man who's good enough to walk her til the end of the aisle. It breaks my heart to know that I can never be that man who can wake up with her every morning with a smile and grow up with her; watch her have gray hair and probably see her carrying our child. All of it vanished into thin air as my sickness got worse and worse and no matter how much I want to be selfish, I don't want to risk her. I don't want to drag her down my miserable life and no matter how my friends told me 'if she loves me she should choose me', it will break my heart into a million or even a billion times to see her pity me in the future.
"What have you done to yourself, son?" I heard a voice from my back as I poured myself my fifth.. or I don't know I lost count, glass of whiskey.
"I did what I had to do, dad. I'm a superhero." I replied sarcastically, controlling every ounce of sadness that wanted to come out from my already puffy eyes.
"Emy was looking for you at the reception. I went out to look for you."
"Nah. She'll manage a life without me." which I hope she will but still hopes she never forgets me.
"You okay?" he asked.
I grinned at him. "I've got a ticket to heaven just like mommy, dad. I'm okay!" but my stupid tears wouldn't hide. "It's a good thing, right? I'll be with her and I'll get the chance to ask why she didn't tell me what was happening before. I could get to ask her why she didn't prepare me for that. I get to ask her if she ever missed me while she was gone." I sounded like a child and that's when I realized I was crying terribly. There was anger and fear and sadness all mixed up inside me. I don't have a choice, I'll be dying like my mom.
Dad came to me and hugged me tight. "Shh. leaving me is not a good thing, son."
"Dad, you gotta be ready. I've got a ticket to heaven." I hugged him back and smiled at him.
"Don't be like that-"
"It's the truth, dad. Of course I will try to save me but I just want you to be prepared." I breathed. "Now, will you let me have my solemn moment alone and go back to the party and just enjoy Emy's night for me?" I asked politely.
My dad just nodded and walked away with shoulders down.
I wiped my tears like a child and held the picture of my mom. Everything will be okay. I'll live my remaining days like how Tomilson Mchalle would, the normal Tommie.
"Mom this is too painful." I told her. Then I realized that whatever pain she must have felt before, it was doubled than what he feels right now. Her mom dealt all of it alone without anyone's sympathy.
Then I remember where I hid the piece of paper which motivated me through my decisions. I grabbed the piece of paper inside my crumpled tux and looked at it.
'Contract Papers No. 10, Be Bestfriends Foreverrrr!'
I'm glad I wrote this. It somehow eases the pain and boost my pride a bit that I was able to let all the things in our bucket list happen.
"Bestfriends forever, mine" I whispered to myself as I drifted into oblivion.
~THE END~
