A young girl sat on the couch alone. She came into this house because everyone she knew wished she wasn't around. The house had been empty for years so she finally came up with enough nerve to go inside. She had found a book in her adventures in the bedrooms. So she decided to read through it. Inside was a hand written book by someone she assumed used to live in the house.
And this is what it said.....
When I was 17, I dropped out of school. I didn't go most days anyway, and I was smarter than everyone there. My parents were furious but there wasn't much they could do to make me go. They could make sure I went inside the school but they could never keep me there. I always found a way out of the school. It wasn't like my teachers actually cared.
I was a bit of a reject. I had dyed my hair four different colors over that summer. I didn't really make an effort to look pretty like the other girls I knew. I just wore what I wanted. I still looked better than them.
My hair was bright pink when I met him the first time. We were at the local amusement park at the same time. He commented on how my hair never seemed to fade no matter how long I kept it one color.
He was cute. Bit of a chubby face. His hair was barely inside the dress code we had at our school. He was one of those rule pushers. You know the ones who didn't get into trouble because they were just barely in line.
I agreed to ride the tilt-a-whirl with him and while we were in line I told him I was 17. He had asked and I wasn't just going to ignore him. That would make the ride a bit awkward. Besides, what could it hurt?
It wasn't until he said, "Oh well I'm 20." that I nearly laughed at him. He was clearly not that old. He had a baby face. He was 16 at the most. But I didn't say anything about it to him.
I remember how I couldn't stop laughing the whole ride. It was my favorite and he didn't do anything accept tell stupid jokes that he clearly learned from his stupid friends.
When we got off the ride I just knew he was going to ask me out. He was a cocky kid and he had that look about him, but he didn't. He probably would have had to ask his Mum for money in order to go someplace decent.
He was cute though, and I almost wished he had asked me out then. But he didn't, and I sat at home that Friday night.
I saw him later that week. I actually went to school to see him the whole week. He talked to me three times. I still remember how his lips turned up into this smirk. I just knew he liked me but there wasn't anything I was going to do about it. He had a lot of older friends because of his brothers. He hung out with cool guys. I had friends but they didn't really know me. They didn't hang out with me much after I started having this thing for him. They could tell I was acting differently and it still wasn't actually me.
Eventually I got really depressed and annoyed with the fact the he just flirted and acted like he wanted to ask me out but he never did.
When I turned 18, I dropped out of school officially and got myself a tattoo. It was this rose and I got it on my shoulder blade. It hurt like hell, and I couldn't let my parents see it. I kept it covered usually so no one really knew about it.
There was a day I met up with some friends to see this group perform at this shit-tastic bar. I was just looking for a guy to hang with and a drink so I went along with little to no expectations.
But he was there. He was in the band that was performing. Not a lot of people showed up and they weren't great to be honest.
He played the guitar and I was really into it. But I told him I was into drummers when he talk to me later. I don't know why I did it. I just felt like I needed to make him think I didn't care.
I did care. I still really liked him. He didn't appear to care much about me either though. I ended up trying way too hard that night.
It was odd though. He'd seen me all over town that summer. School, the amusement park, the mall even, but I didn't even know his name. He probably knew mine. He seemed to be the type to know all the girls' names.
He had pierced his lip too. He clearly was trying to look cool since he'd taken the time to rip holes in his jeans. I wonder how his Mum felt about him ruining a perfectly good pair of jeans.
It got to be really odd when I started seeing him everywhere. I saw him at my friend's house because he was friends with her brother. I saw him in my favorite stores at the mall with his friends. I saw him play in really random places around town. Really he was turning out to be a weirdo.
I was still sitting at home every Friday while he was out having fun though. So I guess I was the weirdo. Maybe I was just trying to hard? Maybe it wasn't hard enough anymore though.
And then I stopped seeing him. I didn't hear about his band. I didn't see his friends. I didn't see my friends really. I didn't see his brothers. It was like he fell off the face of the earth.
And then I saw a flyer for his band. He was playing a pretty small gig and I imagined they'd have a turnout like that night I first saw them play.
I went online and bought some tickets in the front row because I decided I was just going to go and let him know that I was infatuated with him. I had been for a long time. The night of the show I went alone. No one I knew would want to go to that gig. He was in a wannabe boy band.
And then I was shocked to see all the people that came to the show. They all looked like they were big fans and they all sang along to songs I had never heard before. I was so obviously out of place and I think that's how he saw me.
I was in the front row, but so were thirty other girls who knew his songs. I didn't even know his name.
He caught my eye. My heart beat picked up as he smiled. I smiled back but I felt my cheeks getting warm. I had the perfect view of him and he had the perfect view of me. I was close enough to touch him almost.
And then he sang a song with words about a girl who he loved. She dropped out of school and dyed her hair. She was 17 and he told her he was 20. She had a rose tattoo that she kept covered. She was into drummers and she didn't know his name.
"But now who knew, she's in the crowd of my show? Nothing to lose, she's standing right in the front row. The perfect view! She came along on her own, and there's something that she should know!" He sang staring into my soul with his deep blue eyes. His cheeks were chubby anymore. He most certainly wasn't 16. And he was singing about me.
But now he was so out of reach. I was close enough to reach out and grab him by the arm, but he was a big deal now. Thirty other girls were that close too. And I was trying too hard again....
And that was the end of the book. The rest of the pages were blank.
"But did she end up with him?" The young girl asked. She wasn't sure why she was talking to herself, but she couldn't keep it to herself. What happened between them? She didn't think she would be able to survive if she didn't find out.
Her life was saved so to speak when she tossed the book to the side and an old photo slid out of the back of the book.
It was of a pretty girl with her arms wrapped around a guy's neck. She was kissing his cheek while he grinned at the camera. His arms were around her too. He had his lip pierced and the edge of a tattoo poked out of the back of her tank top. This had to be them.
The girl flipped the picture over and read the words on the back.
Me with my Try Hard Girl xx
