Chapter 4

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(picture is of Aria's Boyfriend Shaun Westin) 

"Nathaniel?" I knock quietly as his door

He open the door, he still has the same shorts on, shirtless once again,

"Aria, what's up?"

"I need to use your laptop" I push my way in, the room is messier then it was the last time I was here.

"Sorry, I just got mad because you left me alone, to my thoughts, so that wasn't a good idea" he rubs the back of his neck looking at the ground, he picks up a pair of jeans and puts them away, then grabs his laptop and hands it to me,

"Oh"

I said that as I saw the background, it was of Gabriella and Nathaniel, they're smiling, and they're beautiful.

"Oh, I haven't used my laptop in so long, so I haven't changed the desktop background."

He grimaced as he looked at it, I opened a browser and typed in on google "Shaun Westin" I clicked on the first article,

"Shaun Westin was in a coma, shot by his very own girlfriend, months after the shooting, his parents gave up and took him off life support, April 15,2011 was the day he died."

"Why did you look him up?" He asks

I stare at his picture, he eyes, his hair oh how I miss him. I can't cry tears for him it's been years, it's too late for that now.

"He was my boyfriend, and I deserve the right to know if he was still alive or dead, there you go."

The hugs, the kisses, his voice, all that love that I never gave back to him, all the things left unsaid between us. I just fall in love all over again when I look at his picture on the screen.

"Aria?"

I look at Nathaniel, he seems upset

"What?"

"Your not crying, why aren't you crying? What's wrong with you? You can't seen to find sorrow in yourself to cry? Why is that? Get out, just get out, you don't have the right to tell me to help myself when really you need help, you need to help yourself, just leave!"

I look at the time, it's 4:40am I leave his laptop on the bed and walk away,

"Don't assume I'm not trying to help myself, because you're a fucking fool if you don't see that I am!"

I got so angry, I don't know what's gotten into me,

"I see everything Aria, I really do." he slams the door

I huff, and look over by the stairs I see Derek looking at me, he walks back down the steps.

I haven't seen Derek in a while, so I decide to go follow him downstairs

He's in his office filing through some more paper work.

"So when are you going to "talk" to me about my "problems" "Dr." Derek V. Sanders?"

"In a week or two, I just have some files to send and find and then we can "talk"" he looks up from his glasses and then goes back to searching.

"Can I help?"

"No"

He probably didn't want me to see any of my files, because he's working with government, and it's about me, I just assumed.

I walk back up stairs to my room, I notice there is a note on the pillow, it reads,

"Aria,

I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, my emotions control me a lot, I don't know why, I don't even know why I'm writing this haha, well I do actually it's just my emotions go haywire when I'm around you so I found an alternative to saying what I mean on paper instead, I really just miss my sister and you're right about everything, everything I do won't bring her back, crying isn't going to help, I get that now, and why you didn't cry, so I'll get to the point, I'm just sorry for the way I acted.

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