Broken

Chapter 5

(This picture is of James the other body guard he isnt in much parts but i wanted a face to the name lol) 

I might have fallen for him. It might not look like it at first, but I might have fallen for him.

Nathaniel comes home, pissed off and so destroyed, he has cuts and bruises all over his face and hands. I can see his bloody knuckles, so red and bleeding. I can't help but go and try to help him.

"What happened Nathaniel?"

He looks at me, and walks off upstairs. I think to much. During the day, you're pretending to be who you are, so happy with life and joy, but at night you're alone, and unhappy, and being who you really are. Thats me, just pretending all day, but when I'm alone, to my thoughts, it's dangerous. I've been alone my whole life.

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"Aria, you little bitch, you fucking whore. You're no good, you can't do shit, you're worthless, get the fuck out!"

I get this every night from my drunken father. He's abusive, he neglects me, molests me, and sexually abuses me. This is what I think of love, it's hopeless and useless, what good does it do? Did I love my boyfriend? Maybe. I don't know what love is, how am I suppose to know when I've never been loved myself. Shaun didn't love me, he cheated on me, I didn't have any friends to love me, yes they were around, yes they'd care if I died but they'd cry because they wouldn't be able to use me anymore, they all wanted something from me, isn't that how all friend ships start? With someone wanting something from another? I hate life because it's a big disappointment.

"Aria, I love you" Shaun tells me

I kiss him, make him shut up, because I knew it wasn't true. He wanted something from me, and he was going to get it, because I'm use to all the disappointment and regret, that it doesn't faze me. I gave him everything hoping he'd leave me and cause me some kind of grief and sadness make me feel something, but he never left, I didn't know what he wanted, I didn't know what he was doing.

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I walk about to Nathaniel's room as I think back, those images are stuck in my head.

"Nathaniel, can I come in?" I knock, there's no response.

I open the door and Nathaniel's not there, I check the washroom, he's in the shower. I sigh, he's fine. I sit down on his bed, and I go through his books. There's a lot of drawings in his notebook some are really good, a page falls out in one of the note books. I pick it up, and turn it over, it's a portrait, of me. I look frail, skinny, and sickly, but what he did with his own pen and paper, created something I could never imagine myself to be, a beautiful person.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"I was just looking, I didn't mean to go through so much of your stuff"

He looks at the portrait of myself that I'm holding,

"Give me that Aria"

"No, I like it and I'm going to keep it"

"I have plenty more where that came from" I hear him mumble

I look at him, his hair is wet and tousled, he's wearing nothing but a towel, the cuts and bruises still there, the bloody knuckles healing he's still himself.

"How come every time I come into your room, your half naked?"

"Bad timing. now would you give me the drawing back. I need it"

"For what?"

"Art class. the teacher loved it, and wanted me to keep drawing you"

I give it back,

"Can I see the others?"

"Maybe. When they're done"

He smiled, and I died. He's alive and I'm dead. His eyes shine, while mine, are dark and blank. He's living, while I'm dying. I leave him there.

Everyone's so happy and beautiful, and then there's me.

I go to my room, and fall asleep, I don't have lunch, I don't remember breakfast.

I wake up with a jolt, there's a heavy knock at the door,

"Yes?" I say as loud as I can but it comes out broken.

"You okay?" It's Nathaniel, why doesn't Derek or Rosalie ever come up here?

"Yeah" I say

"We're having dinner if you actually want to come down this time"

I get up, I dress in something else because I've been getting nightmares, and I wake up sweaty all the time.

It seems the only time the family is together is at dinner, I don't see Sunny or James.

Rosalie and Derek are sitting at the dinner table, already eating, I poke at my food.

"Aria, you should eat" says Nathaniel, he's finally got a shirt on, long sleeved sweater, it's dark green kind of colour, it suits him.

"I'm not hungry"

"Take a bite at least" he says

"Maybe" I take a bite and ask to be excused

Instead if heading to my room, I go and sit by Derek's office. He's coming down the hall,

"Aria, what are you doing?"

"I need to talk to you"

"Whats wrong?"

"Nathaniel"

"What about him?"

"I like him"

"Oh"

"Why do you guys neglect him so much?"

"We don't neglect him, he neglects us, he thinks it's our fault that Gabriella killed her self, he blames himself and us, our family, it been a rough night, our first session begins next week, we want you to get settled before we get started"

And I leave it at that, I can see when I'm not wanted.

I return to my room, so many thoughts, it's all jumbled, I take a shower. I haven't noticed that Nathaniel has come into my room. I get dressed quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"I hoped to catch you at a bad time" I had no comment

"What is it?"

"I need your help" he said