Have you ever walked up a flight of stairs and taken an extra step
Like there would be another step waiting?
That is how I feel
Lightly shocked
Appalled, really
And wondering why i thought the step would catch me
The step is him
He is a wall I ran into in the dark
A surprise, a shock, a hurt
He was my world
Every one of my smiles tasted of him
Every breath smelled of his scent
I found him in the mornings
Rolling over to find "I love you" waiting on my phone
I felt him in the evenings "I love you, goodnight"
I experienced "i love you" in silence sitting on his bed as it pulsed through our pressed shoulders
I knew "i love you" in every warm hug
Every sweet kiss
Every longing look
Now I remember "i love you" as a watery goodbye
But I no longer knew it in his stiff hug as I wept
Or in his cool-lipped kiss
Or in the apathetic gaze I met as I walked out the door for the last time
Where did it go?
