CHILLI
I was debating rather should i leave her alone or go after her looking at the stove to see the food was already done turn the stove off i should have known this was gonna happen i guess it's just me waiting her to admit her feelings but only whine up making her push away but i can see it now
she probably won't ever admit her feelings but then again her actions do speak louder then words and the fact she showing jealousy let's me know that she really wants me but she can't be playing games either she gonna be with me and cut them other girls loose but if not she's gonna have to let me go and let me leave making my way to the front door but took deep breaths before opening i looked at to see Lisa seating on the ground with her head down looking out into the streets i squatted down to her level looking at her but she would not make eye contact with me...
LEFT-EYE
I feel funny about putting my emotions out there like that it's crazy for me to admit that i have feelings for her but yet my jealousy and ego gets the best of me i already told her that i am not use to all of this i am struggling more now then i did before but my stubbornness won't allow it.
all she wanna do is love me but as of right now i am not sure about that at all my last relationship situation had me mental unhealthy.
i don't want a repeat of what happened the last time i went all in it with my heart and a open mind but sometimes that's all it takes to ruin your next relationship right now i ain't even sure what love is that's what sucks the most not being able to say it. how will i know if her love is true
how will i know this ain't a joke or a game she trying to pull talking about ride or die but how would i know she do that for me.
i can't say i love her and not mean it but i have a more difficult time saying it if i did but i felt like she would only get mad if i don't.
i do know how to express myself but i lack when it comes to telling her feelings either way it feels like i lose.
CHILLI
Lisa what's on your mind it's just u and me u can tell me whatever it is u don't have to shut me out i wanna understand what u been going through and i am ready to listen i don't even care how long the story is i ain't got nothing to do and a matter a fact i have all day looking at her eyes.
LEFT-EYE
I don't know how to express my feelings mumble the last part
CHILLI
What say that again Lisa
LEFT-EYE
I said i don't know how to express my feelings
CHILLI
That's understandable if you had said something from the beginning things would have been different
LEFT-EYE
Seriously are u kidding me u get mad at me every time i don't admit my feelings
CHILLI
Lisa if i knew u was struggling with that i wouldn't have to make such a big deal out of it if u had told me
LEFT-EYE
But i had already told u that i wasn't use to all that
CHILLI
I thought u was saying that just to avoid that u have feelings for me
LEFT-EYE
In some what but...
CHILLI
But what?
LEFT-EYE
You told me u ride or die for me right?
CHILLI
Nodding my head right
LEFT-EYE
And u already told me that u wanna be with me right?
CHILLI
Yeah i did what are trying to say Lisa?
LEFT-EYE
How will i know if your love is for real in my last relationship i though what had was real but i whine up losing my friends and defending the wrong person how will i know what u said is for real because to me it's just words how will i know u really down for me
CHILLI
Well when that time comes u will see one day that i mean what i said
LEFT-EYE
This love thing i honestly don't know what it is at first i though i knew but now i honestly don't know nothing about it all
CHILLI
Looks at her with a straight face then my hand rest on her lap while the other caresses her face love is what u feel in her heart it will also make u do the most stupid things and sometimes crazy things but to me love is how u felt for that person sex doesn't define love it's just something that comes along with becoming one but it also avoid with doing it with someone special sharing that inmate moment
LEFT-EYE
I don't know how to be in a relationship without that my sex drive is on point on maximum level when i get that feeling i have get it in
CHILLI
I can handle your needs as long as u do right by me u would have to leave them other females alone
LEFT-EYE
That reminds me before i even decided to change my lifestyle she gonna need to know this but i have to taste her first to see if she would stay down
CHILLI
Notice something bother her Lisa what's wrong this time
LEFT-EYE
There something u need to know before u fully decided u wanna be with me
CHILLI
Sure what it is u can tell me?
LEFT-EYE
I have a baby on the way
CHILLI
Shocked excuse me what did u said
LEFT-EYE
Sighs heavily i said have a baby on the way
CHILLI
My heart drop to my stomach when i heard that them words repeated over and over again i looked down in total shock are u serious.
TBC...
