Dear Evan Hansen and Be More Chill Drabbles

A Mint Scented Cover Up pt 2

Evan froze,"N-No. I feel fine, Connor." He lied. It was easy for him. Evan didn't know how to do anything better than he could lie. He hated how well he could just lie through his teeth, especially to Connor. Connor was his everything. His world. His light. His love. And Evan just lied to him. Just like that. Connor slowly backed up, stumbling into the bed. He sat down, taking Evan with him. "Evan, I don't believe you. I've been worried about you for a while now. You disappear after lunch and you don't eat breakfast. Whenever I'm over for dinner, you always go right to the bathroom after. And today...you smell like you've been sick, Evan. I'm worried. Really worried." He said, sounding serious as always. Evan paused,"I don't want to talk about it, Connor." He hung his head and stared into his lap. Evan crawled onto Connor, sitting in his lap and resting his head on Connor's shoulder lightly. Conner shrugged him off,"No. Get off me, Evan. Not until you can tell me the truth." He scolded, pushing the boy onto the bed. Evan sighed,"Connor...I-I don't want to talk about it." Evan could feel his anxiety building and building in his stomach until he was sure he was going to be sick again. Connor had his suspicions on what was going on. He hated to think it, but Evan had an eating disorder. As if everything the boy struggled with wasn't enough. Connor looked Evan up and down, concern under his stern and serious, stoic face. He was beautiful. Loved. Cared for. Did Connor not love him enough? Did he not express how perfect he thought his body was? Was this his fault? Evan hugged his small stomach, pulling his knees to his chest and sitting against the headboard of the bed. "I don't want to talk about it.." Evan muttered again. Connor shook his head,"Too bad. Because we're talking about it. Right now. Evan, do you have a problem?" He asked. He wanted to  hear the words come out of his mouth. Evan snuggled, knowing tears might come. He nodded. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Connor asked again, guiding him through his questions and slowly expecting answers. Evan nodded again and the shook his head after a pause. Connor sighed and collected the boy's hands. "No matter what happens," he kissed the other's knuckles,"I will still love you." He reassured. He pressed one of Evan's hands against his face, his own hand atop Evan's. "No-No matter what?" Evan stuttered. Connor nodded. Evan stared at him for a moment, thinking through this choice. He wanted to tell Connor but it was so much easier to just lie to him. Tell him he was fine. Just a stomach bug. He ate some bad food. It was a one time thing. But he couldn't lie to Connor for long. He always saw through it. Evan took a deep, shaky breath. "I-I have an eating disorder..." he mumbled almost silently,"I purge after I eat. I starve myself if I taken in calories. I have to stay thin. For you. For Jared. For Zoe. Everyone likes me when I'm thin..." Evan mumbled. He sounded so distant and far off. Connor felt his heart, and stomach, sink as he heard the truth. He knew it. But he hated to know it. "That's not true. I love you the way you are now. And I would love you if you were ten pounds heavier. And twenty pounds heavier. And thirty. And forty. And fifty..." he trailed,"Get the message?" Connor leaned forward and kissed Evan's forehead. "You have to say that. You're my boyfriend..." Evan returned. He felt it true. Everyone liked Skinny Evan. No one would like Evan if he wasn't skinny. Not even Connor. Connor sighed,"Nope. I don't have to say it. I say it because it's true. I love you for you Evan. Not because you weigh 95 pounds. And even if you weighed 950 pounds. I love you. For this..." he leaned down and kissed Evan's chest, where his heart way,"Not for this." He finished, kissing his stomach. He felt Evan pull away as he kissed him. "I'm going to get you better, just you wait." Connor declared. Evan stayed silent. He didn't want to get better. But, maybe Connor was telling the truth. He hugged onto him tightly, nuzzling into his neck. Connor wordlessly hugged back, falling to the bed and snuggling close to each other.