FACADE ( the GazettE Tale )

Chapter Twenty Seven : Hope in Broken Words

Twenty Fifth of October

Minutes became Hours and hours became days.

I don't know why he left. I don't know if he'll come back.

The music event is finally done but all I could hear is his song.

I'm currently waiting for something that might not happen.

It seems like I just woke up from a very sweet dream and now I am facing a cruel reality of him nowhere near.

But there's still hope in me.

So I'll wait and hold on to that hope.

Seventh of November

Days became weeks.

And I'm still holding on.

There are times that I thought all those moments with him never happened.

That he's a fragment of my imagination.

Our teacher erased his name from the class's attendance sheet too.

His name was never called again.

But his abandoned seat reminds me that he exists.

Other curious students that's asking of his whereabouts also makes me hold on.

He'll be back.

Eleventh of November

Ruki.

Ruki.

Ruki.

Sixteenth of November

I asked Carmela about him.

She said she don't know, even Byo has no idea where he is right now too.

No one.

Twenty Fourth of November

I don't know what to do.

Ruki?

Twenty Ninth of November

They said I have a cold.

No.

It's just me, sick of his absence.

And my only cure is

him.

Ninth of December

My window is still open.

When he was here, he always made sure that it's close.

After he goes in my room he always lock that window.

Since he left, it's been there, wide open.

And it's cold.

Inside and out.

But I don't want to close it.

I want him to do it for me, just like he always does.

Twenty Sixth of December

I'm still trying to hold on.

Maybe I'm in a dream. Maybe this is all a horrible dream.

And soon I'll wake up by his voice.

In his arms.

Fifth of January

Weeks became Months.

My hands hurt from holding on. My body numbs from the cold.

My heart aches from waiting.

I won't give up.

Even if I have to wait for years.

Eighteenth of January

Today, mom asked me to do something other than lock myself in my room.

I didn't realize I'm confining myself in this four cornered place.

But I'm fine here.

I don't want to go out and act alive when it feels like I'm slowly drowning from this wait, which seems endless.

But because mom insisted, we went out. I ate with her and her business partners.

I kept quiet as they discuss some of their projects and ventures.

They said "Matsumoto" for a few times which made me rigid.

I know it wasn't him but his father. And his father might know something about him.

I want to talk to him. Ask him about Ruki.

Tell me where is he, or if he's okay.

I need answers. I need him.

Ruki

Twenty Fourth of January

I was in front of Sphere Corporation earlier.

But I couldn't make myself walk in that building.

I kept on thinking, what if it's a bad thing.

His father surely doesn't know anything about us, right?

This, between us...

This is a secret. This is something that no one has to know.

So I backed out.

I'm here back at my room and continue to wait again.

In the cold.

Twenty Ninth of January

The hope in me is fading each morning I wake up.

Ruki....

Seventh of February

It's been months...

I don't know what and where to hold on anymore.

I'm feeling lost and he's my only direction.

I'm being hunted by my memories of him every night, every second.

I am in pain.

Is this the same pain that he'd been fighting when I'm around?

If this was it, then I don't know how he tolerated this kind of sorrow for me.

It's too painful. It's killing me.

Twenty Fifth of February

I'm still waiting to wake up from this nightmare.