When I Met Pewdipie

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Dear Clem...

I know this mustn't make much sense right now but I promise I will do the best I can to explain it.

When I came back after I left, you had gone. I had brought you these flowers to express how sorry I was with putting you in the spot and scaring you with my sudden outburst. And yes, I am extremely sorry. So, I guess these are yours now. Look after them.

I smile, and look at the bouquet laying on the table beside me. They're lilies.

By now, you're probably wondering where I am.

Yes, I am.

To tell you the truth...I'm gone.

I'm so, so sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I just couldn't stay there knowing that I was the cause of all of the problems between you and Felix. I should never of tried to intervene and should of kept my feelings to myself. But to put it straight out, I do still love you, Clementine.

I don't know why but I was hoping that going back home would help me try to compress my feelings for you. It may not be possible but it might just take some time.

When I got back from "getting some air" I realised that you weren't there. I was so stupid to think you would have stayed and I beat myself up for leaving without even saying sorry. Actually, I beat myself up most of the time because I caused you pain. But now that I'm gone, you won't get hurt anymore because I've already apologised and worked things out with Felix before I left. It came to my attention, though, that I would be leaving you, my biggest fan. The biggest audience member.

My heart shatters, but I can't find it in myself to cry. So I collapse onto the ground, clutching the note and continue reading.

Clem, when I say this I mean it with 100% of my heart. I am truly sorry what anything I have ever done to you and I will be eternally guilty for not bidding you farewell on my trip back to Florida. I'm also sorry for not letting you say goodbye to gryphon.

All I can say is that I think about you every single minute that you're not with me and I can't control that. I had to come back home because I don't want to act on it this time.

I'm in love with you but you were never mine.

I hope you won't miss me too much ;),

With love,
Tobuscus.

P.S
You will always be my nugget, don't you ever forget that.

P.P.S
I left you a signed tobuscus shirt on my old bed that you can fan girl over all the time.

I laugh, in between my sobs. The tears found way through my eyes and onto my face, wetting my already stained face. Painting an already used canvas.

For awhile, I sit there on the kitchen floor crying and laughing and remembering all the fun memories we had together as wondering if ill ever see him again besides on through a video on my laptop screen.

Once I finally get up, I fold the piece of paper, put it in my jacket pocket and pick up the flowers, finding my way through the maze of a house towards what used to be Toby's bedroom.

Sure enough, when I push open the door, is a purple Tobuscus tshirt laid out on the already made bed. I walk over to it, noticing the black scribble that is Toby's signature. But no fangirling comes. I guess I was passed the point of obsession and onto depression.

I pick it up and press it to my face, inhaling whatever scent is left. There is none. It's a brand new tshirt.

Holding the bouquet in my left hand and the tshirt in my right, I exit Toby's house.