Do you miss it

She Was Hurting Too

Dinah's POV

Right now the girls and I are LA for a show and we're just relaxing in my hotel room before we have to start getting ready for tonight.

About 30 minutes ago I texted Camila after Ally told me how she went and talked to her.

I know things have been hard for Camila and the last thing I want her to do is stress herself out even more.

I kept thinking about texting her again but I don't know. Our conversations seem to turn really fast now a days.

I don't need to stress myself or her.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Ally came out of the bathroom and sat beside me on the bed sighing.

Normani and Lauren are currently on the couch while looking at their phones. Then Ally began talking.

"So I went and saw Camila last night" Ally said, looking at Normani and Lauren I guess to see their reaction.

Neither one of them looked up from their phones but Lauren did speak.

"I thought management said not to speak to her" Lauren mumbled, scrolling through her phone.

"Well yeah but she was freaking out and had called me so I had to go ya know?" Ally tried reasoning, still not getting a reaction from the others.

"Whatever I guess" Lauren mumbled before she got up and went to grab a water from the fridge.

I wanted to bite my tongue to avoid any problems but I couldn't.

"Do you have to be so nonchalant about it?" I mumbled, looking down and playing with the ripped ends of my long sleeve shirt.

"Do you have to constantly worry about someone who acted like they didn't give a shit about us?" I heard Lauren mumble as she sat back down next to Normani.

"You know wha-" I started before Normani cut me off.

"Hey" Normani said causing both Lauren and I to look at her annoyed.

"Stop it. We don't need anyone arguing about anything" Normani told us before looking back at her phone.

"But don't you guys think you're holding a grudge for no reason?" I tried to reason, despite what Normani said.

If we're talking about Camila, an argument always starts.

"It's not for no reason Dinah. Look. I wish Camila the best but if she really did care in the first place, throwing us to the curb for her career wouldn't have even crossed her mind"

Lauren said to me, now locking her phone. That's a clear sign that this might go down hill.

"She was going through a hard time just like us" I said as I pulled at my sleeve.

"Okay and I'm not saying she wasn't. What I'm saying is that things didn't have to be done the way they were. I know it's not 100% her fault. I'm not going to hold things she couldn't control against her"

Lauren explained, giving me a serious look. 

"Then why do you?" I mumbled finally making eye contact with her.

"I don't babe..." Lauren said, getting up and coming over to me and wiping my face.

When did I even start crying? I shouldn't even be upset about this at this point.

It's been 9 months and I'm still the only one who is still upset.

"Do you realize that this isn't just Camila's fault? It's ours too. We shut her out while we were all hurting"

I said, my voice wavering. I just wanted us all to forgive each other. Imagine the people who were there for a lot of your milestones and said we would always love and support each other, leaving.

I'm not one to forgive people easily but in this situation I can see where we all went wrong. Not just Camila.

Don't get me wrong. I still don't like what or how Camila did what she did but I see where both sides of the situation are coming from.

We all knew this would happen but not the way it did. 

I know people still have theories on who's letter was correct and I hate that we can't tell people the truth.

Yes our letter was accurate for the most part but people don't read between the lines.

There's a lot more to the story than what we all gave. 

There's so much more that only we know.

"I know and I'm sorry that things didn't work out but we weren't the ones who went behind her back and were willing to let her career end for our own sake were we?"

Lauren stated, rubbing my arm.

"But when she was hurting and tried to talk to us, what did we do? and don't say we listened because at a certain point we stopped listening"

I asked seriously.

"You wanna know why we stopped listening? Because you can't help those who don't want the help"

Lauren answered as I watched Normani lock her phone and made her way out of the room.

"I'll go talk to her" Ally announced, following Normani out of the door.

"I get that but it doesn't bother you that we just act like we don't care about her?" I asked Lauren as she ran her hand through my hair.

"You know we all have regrets about how things played out. I can't say that we'll be friends again but I can tell you that we don't hate Camila. You know this Dinah"

Lauren said softly as she stood up.

"I know but when are we gonna sort this all out. You know? Together" I thought out loud making Lauren sigh.

"I don't know but everything will be fine. Don't overthink it ok?"

Lauren told me, sending me a soft smile as she went and grabbed her phone before getting ready to leave the room.

"We gotta start getting ready for tonight. If you wanna talk again just tell me" Lauren told me, waiting for me to respond.

"Okay" I responded before she pulled the door open.

"Love you" she said as she walked out.

"Love you too" I told her back before she closed the door.

After not looking at my phone for a little while I decided to check it.

Text Message from Camila

I'm okay. Thank you for asking :)

I smiled at my phone before replying.

Np :) I'm glad to hear that you're okay 

I pressed send as I got up and made my way to the bathroom to start getting ready for the day.

Hopefully things will get better.