BROKEN DREAMS

Chapter 4 - A Different World

The 80s were exciting. Businesses were booming. There was plenty of entertaining, partying, discoing, drinking, all until the wee morning hours. ZAA (Zingel Advertising Agency) in the 1980s was a top-notch local advertising agency that beat all the international agencies by winning many big accounts. Two of the biggest accounts were the country’s tourism and airline accounts.

After we won those accounts; ZAA was all over the news. It was hard for the international competitors to accept that a local advertising agency had won accounts worth hundreds of millions. We didn’t care what they thought. The world was our oyster and we partied and reveled in our glory.

Our office was in a three-story white building with a fashionable address – No. 1 located in a prominent high-end area, right next to the main road. The address matched our status as the number one ad agency in KL. We even had our own cook, Ah Mei, who made the best sambal ikan bilis sandwiches.

I was lucky that ZAA selected me when I started looking for job. I was only 20, already had a two-month-old baby. And I had to admit that my body still looks perfect. It has always been the belief that women get back into shape easier after pregnancy when they are still young.

I was very excited about my new job. I had a make over. I bought new clothings. I learned to apply make-up. I went to the hairdresser and asked them to give me a new look. So they had my hair done like Princess Diana’s as it was then the most talked about topic since her engagement to Prince Charles in 1980. And women all over the world were copying her style.

The transition from living in a solitude environment during my pregnancy period to going to work in a large advertising agency was a big step up for me.

I was awed by everyone who worked there. They used slang and carried themselves confidently. Almost all the girls always had a cigarette in their hands because of ‘stress’. Somehow, a cigarette added a touch of class and glamour as they brainstormed, holding a cigarette aloft.

As a junior account executive, I had to do all the work that senior account executives disdained, such as compiling ads, chasing down artwork, setting appointments, and arranging meetings. I loved to do it then.

ZAA was like a big family. We had a great boss, Mr. Zingel. Everyone called him Andrew. He believed in rewarding and taking care of his staff.  Like advertising executives everywhere, he worked hard and played hard. We hosted a lot of parties in our car park and we always looked forward to the Christmas party held  at Andrew’s home in Lana Hill.

It was easy to make friends at ZAA. All my colleagues, even the boss himself was friendly. I reminded myself that I am so lucky to have this chance to work in ZAA. Especially when I don’t have any work experience before.

I started hanging out regularly with a group of colleagues that soon become my best friends, Lina, Adria, Tailynn and Jack. Every morning we would come to office early to escape the traffic. We will take turns to buy breakfast. And we will spend half an hour or so eating our breakfast in the nice dining room beside the pantry.

We would have lunches together too. Driving out to the best ‘yong tow foo’, the best ‘curry fish head’, the best ‘duck rice’, searching out every corner of KL for the best food. It was great fun working at ZAA. Whilst we worked hard, we played equally harder.

We find every opportunity to chitchat, to gossip, to bitch together. We enjoyed the time when we had to argue with the Traffic lady for timeline. With the Creative Director on our Creative Brief. With the Media Director on our client’s budget. We thereafter would mimicked and make fun of all these seniors that always post a stumbling block to getting our jobs done.

And every Friday, we would leave the office promptly at 5:30 pm and hit the pubs. We would start with happy hour in one pub where other agency’s executives hung out. Then we would pile into one car to eat a great unhealthy dinner of fried prawns, fish, and with vegetables overcooked with oil or the infamous greasy black Hokkien mee, made tastier with fried crispy pork lard.

After dinner, we’d go to a disco to dance our frustrations away up to 2 or 3am. When the discos closed, we would then go to one of the ‘Chew Chow Chock’ (Teo Chew porridge) stall for breakfast before driving home to recuperate over the weekend. I was lucky that one of my dear friends will always dropped me off to my house, even at that wee hours of the morning.

But for me, the weekend was time to be with my baby, Han, since he had to be left with a babysitter during the week. I would pick up Han every Saturday morning and spend time with him till Sunday evening before sending Han back to the babysitter again. Then it’s the start of another new week. 

I was taking care of Han on my own most of the time, as Robert was getting busier with his new venture. Robert set up a small construction company that mainly handled sub-contract work from bigger construction firms.

With the boom time in the 80s, there was continuous entertaining, not only with Construction Company but also with all kinds of companies, even Advertising Agencies. Most business deals were closed by entertaining clients until the early mornings, taking them to karaoke parlors, nightclubs, and girly bars.

Robert would send me to the office every morning. He too likes to leave early to work to beat the traffic, which works out good for me. But most of the evenings, I had to take a bus home after work as Robert is usually busy with entertaining clients to late hours most of the days.

When at times that Robert is early, he would pick me up from work. We would then eat our dinner at a local restaurant. After arriving home, Robert would watch TV while I did some housework. But most of the time, I would just ‘ta pau’ (doggy pack) a simple meal when I had to take a bus home.

Robert and I talked of little else but the baby. It was all we really had in common. Sex was something to get over with so we both could have a good night’s sleep. It’s unbelievable that Robert and I, a healthy young couple in our 20s, had let our life revolve around office work, babies, and for me, also household chores. 

I had learnt not to ask him much about his late nights. But there had been many occasions that Robert came him with tell tale signs of his infidelity. I saw traces of lipstick on his collar couple of times. When I saw it the first time, I questioned him. “What is this red stain on the collar here?” 

He would retorted, “What do you think it is?”

“Its lipstick stain right? Who are you with last night?”

Robert would shout, “You don’t questioned me about all these things. I had to work hard to bring in the money. Who do you think pays for the house mortgage? The car? And I am working hard to try to get you a car so that it’s easy for you to get around. So you don’t question me what I do. As long I keep you comfortable, you should be pleased.”

And I would then just keep quiet. But the hurt is there. Although I kept myself busy with work, with my office friends, with Han, but I felt empty inside. I find sports, hobbies that I can do on my own, jogging, swimming, reading. Though I have my four best friends, but somehow I can’t seems to confide in them about Robert’s quick and bad temper, about my unhappy marriage, about my loneliness.

Many times, I wondered if this was all that life had to offer. Wondered if that’s how I am going to live the rest of my life.

But I discovered the joy of life again when Adrian joined ZAA as Creative Head.