BROKEN DREAMS

Chapter 7 - The Scandal Continues..

“Are you disturbed by all the rumors in the office about us?” I asked Adrian as I lay snugly on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me.

I felt so in peace. We just had an hour long of slow, lingering, sensual, love-making session filled with lots of caressing and touching before we once again got ourselves carried away with lust and orgasm. Since the office got wind of our affair, Adrian proposed that we meet in his house instead as it was just too risky now to continue our escapade in his office.

When either one of us are ready to leave, we would buzz each other. Adrian would then drive his car to pick me from the back of the office so that our colleagues don’t see us leaving together or leaving in his car. The only inconvenience is that Adrian has to send me home after which is quite a long distance away, 32km to be exact. We agreed that he would drop me at a bus stop, which is just a block away from my home just in case Robert is home.

“No, I am not. Are you?” Adrian asked in return.

I kept quiet for a while. The question just popped out. I actually had not give it much thought. To me, our affair has not hurt anyone. In fact, it seems to make my own situation seems more bearable. I am happier; I burst with energy each morning at the thought of going to office and seeing my beloved Adrian again.

I seem to be more tolerable of Robert’s late nights. In fact, I felt happy that he’s home late. When he’s late, it means we don’t have much time to talk. Not that we talk a lot. We only talk about things that would involve us with our families, like a family get-together or a holiday or anything involving our child, Han.

I don’t know the nature of Robert’s work or office. I just knew that he has change to working in a Quantity Surveyor firm. Robert had never asked me about my work in the advertising agency.

Even when we were dating, we did not talk about his work, his dreams, and our dreams. I grew up in a family that doesn’t talk much. I remember more of my parent’s quarrels than a normal family conversation. My parents talk more to criticize, to reprimand each other then to discuss, to share things or stories.

The best thing that ever happened since Adrian was that I am now able to sleep even though Robert is late. Most nights, I just slept off without even giving Robert’s late homecoming a thought. 

“Penny for your thoughts!” Adrian voice drifted into my thoughts.

I looked into his eyes. “I am not too.”

“That’s my girl,” Adrian said as he hugs me tightly to him.

I took a deep breath and…“Is this love?”

I looked down to avoid looking at his eyes as I asked that. My heart was beating so fast that Adrian must have heard it. I had this feeling that he will say those magic words, yet I feared that it might not be!

There had not been any discussion of love. Adrian has yet to say, ‘I love you.’

‘What could it be? If it’s not love? He had been sending me flowers. Sending me little love notes. It must be love. He probably couldn’t say it yet because I am married.’

I had been giving myself these justifications. I told myself I should just ask Adrian instead of guessing or justifying this affair by myself.

Adrian put his other hand’s fingers on my chin to lift up my face to him. He looked into my eyes.

“Shu Lin, I don’t know if this is love? I have given up love after Keira asked me for a divorce. It was such a shock. I didn’t at all see it coming. I thought ours was forever love.”