D. Gray-man one shots

Kanda x reader: Facade

You sat at a table in the dining hall by yourself, staring blankly at Kanda across the room who was eating Soba and surprisingly sitting with the others.

Overwhelming sadness had overtaken you and there was no way you could try to pretend everything was ok for the others. Not at this moment.

A few things were bugging you. Daisya was dead. Kanda wasn't even reacting and not only that but you had a killer crush on him and all he could manage to be was a giant cold dick to you, especially when you needed him more than ever.

Wasn't Kanda friends with Daisya? Didn't he care about him at least a little?

You hung your head down and avoided even looking at the long haired samurai across the hall and stared absently at your food while picking at it.

Would Kanda even care if you were gone?

"Hey."

You looked up and Lavi was standing there with his book man stare etched into his features. Even Lavi was trying not to care.

You couldn't help but mopily lay your head on the table. Lavi was a close friend of yours so you knew he'd understand what that meant.

"I talked to Kanda, I knew if you wanted to be near anyone it would be him." He knew all about how much you liked Kanda, but it was probably easier to love a brick wall then Yuu.

"I bet he Che'd and then flicked you on the head or chased you around didn't he?"  you mumbled.

"Actually, no. He... He's coming over here."

You lifted your head. "Wait, really?"

Lavi nodded. "Do you want me around Or are things gonna get intimate?" He joked a little. He didn't smile when he said it though, of course he couldn't of.

"I'll try to handle him on my own. I'll tell you all about it later though," you answered.

"Alright, see you later then (y/n)." Lavi turned and left you alone at the table once more while you stared anxiously at Kanda.

He did seem to glance your way once and when he caught you looking at him he quickly looked away but less than a moment later he got up and headed towards your table which shocked you.

"(Y/n). We need to talk," he said, standing near the table.

"Do you mind talking here?" You asked. Moving was one of the last things you wanted to do in your saddened state. 

Kanda shrugged and sat down. He asked you a surprising question right off the bat. "Are you doing ok?"

"Oh, well..." You looked to the side and then sighed. "Not really... It's..."

"Daisya. I know."Kanda shut his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath before glancing at the food you had. "So you're the one who's eating the soba."

"Huh?" You looked back at your food then at him and nervously smiled. "Oh yeah, um, it's a comfort food." Eating Soba was something you picked up when you noticed that Kanda tended to eat it a lot. You never thought he'd care, let alone know that you existed long enough to note that you did that.

"I'd hardly say 'comfort food' but if that's helping you with what's happened..." He didn't continue on.

"It was hard on you too. I can see that."

Instead of getting bitter like he would have done with anyone else, he just didn't say anything.

"He was my friend too... I.." A few tear drops fell onto the table. "I miss him."

Kanda looked at you with a type of pity and it seemed like he wanted to help but he didn't know how, all he could say was "don't cry."

"How can I not?" Your voice was quivering now, and it didn't seem like you cared what you said at this point. He already saw you cry, you might as well keep spouting things that made you upset all the time. "Everyone's pretending not to care, and now I wonder if you'd act the same way if I were gone!" Whoops.

His eyebrows furrowed. "That's not true."

"It is! You hardly even know I exist except when you're forced to go on a mission with me! Don't think I don't see how much you grimace when you look at me."

Kanda got deadly serious. "You haven't seen me when you're not looking at me."

"What difference does it make?" Your tears were a steady stream.

He reached over and wiped them away with his thumb which made your heart stop within your chest.

Did he just actually touch you?! Holy shit he touched you!

"I never wanted you to see it, but I care about you more than anyone else here. I'd say fuck the order if it meant you were safe."

You were completely speechless and didn't know what to say.

Kanda kissed you on top of your head and there was the tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips. "Now stop crying. You got what you wanted."

"What do you mean?" You asked quietly.

"Lavi told me everything."

You went wide eyed but decided to save your wrath for later and looked hopefully towards Kanda. "So, you mean it for real? What you said?"

"Don't make me say it twice." His eyes seemed amused but to anyone else he looked as normal as he always did. "You're lucky I said anything about how I feel... Che."

"You are such a tsundere!"

"Heh. But I'm your tsundere."