Forgotten Words

Who Am I?

Who am I?

Am I the bones that my skeleton is warped of? Stacked at the joints and stark up to my throat, waging wars underneath my skin's conformed layers. Am i just these colors that construct the human build and frame? Are my tears that bleed liquid galaxies as like everyone else's whose fall upon the vicious cheeks and tissues strewn around the vacant space by my kitchen counters. Is one tear different from the other? Or do they carry meaning behind a tiny, minuscule orb consisted of salt and the clarity of my colors?

Who am I?

Am I the backyard of your house?The rusted old swings that are only swayed by a dead breeze. Obsolete and untouched since my demons have shrouded the grass to cancerous bruises. Am I my own insecurities? Is it my face that is so contorted in the soft shades of lamps lit on the streets of fears? Will you find me there, growing and developing in your yard, convulsing my oily liquids upon the soils and withering the branches of your roots?

Who am I?

I thought I was suppose to be this, but I'm not. If I told you I was your house would you believe my pretenses? What about your heart? Would it beat to my studious breathes, for I would only have so much air to offer from a strained esophagus. What if all I did was bite my tongue every time I dreamed? My dreams that were extinguished because everyone spoke of dismal waste that they held. After all, my dreams were only thoughts that gave my heart a chance to ignite and sputter. My dreams signaled hope on the silver clouds, beckoning over the smoke. But they never existed because your words told me so?

What if I don't know who I am?

You laughed in your ecstasy. What if I let your laugh burn my ears until I felt ash gather in the cracks of my sound waves. And what if I'm no one anymore? Because no one is just a whisper of a voice who was once someone. I'm chasing after my own self, a self who wanted to see the mountains glow from gray to blue and watch her dancing sunsets perform on the silhouettes of her other self. But now all I am is coated in the sheets of ice and sheets of gray. Because what if I say to the other face, "Who am I?" and she responds to me, "I don't know you anymore."

~ Kes