Can't Stay Away (BBC Sherlock) -2-

2. Moving On

Dear Journal,

I don't know why I still have you. Whatever the reason, I'm glad to be writing again.

Max and Darien's wedding was a few days ago, November is coming very soon. The newlyweds are currently in Rio de Janeiro, lucky people. Too bad they didn't go early next year, around Carnival. That would be an experience.

You would think since two years have gone by that a lot has gone on. Oh, wait, there's the obvious. I've found someone now, a very good guy who's honest with me. I can thank Max and Darien, and Amanda for helping us come together.

I often wonder about Dad back in my home country of England. It's weird to associate Britain with my bloodline, as it's still a recent discovery. I know things are going well for him. Despite me staying home while he returned after my birthday, luck became his best friend. Like me, he's found a stable relationship. She'll never be my mother, but I love her, though I've never officially met her. I've only talked to her via Skype when I can on Bayley's laptop. I need to ask him, or someone, about getting me one for Christmas...

That'll be a holiday I'll never properly celebrate with my biological dad and his girlfriend, being we're countries apart.

There's this nagging topic that I know needs to get written down. So here it is.

People know Sherlock Holmes was real. It is a shame it became the truth after The Fall. Sure, they leak the story out after everything happens! Ugh, just thinking the event's name threatens to bring back awful memories. But not all of them are bad, considering Sherlock Holmes was the reason I found my real dad.

I don't have hallucinations anymore; I haven't had them for a long time. Here and there I'll have a dream involving Sherlock or...or Moriarty. My hand trembles as I write this now, as I'm reminded of all the bad memories that name gives me.

Thinking of Sherlock now brings my mind back to my dad. Does he still think about Sherlock sometimes? I don't mean to, it just happens when my mind wanders. Bayley doesn't bring him up much, not ever since I told him my past, every single detail, right down to my shoulder scar.

In fact, the scar was what started the telling of my past.

Bayley hadn't judged me, he'd been an open, quiet ear. He'd told me a bit of his past even though I'd told him practically everything of mine. Though he couldn't compare his experiences to my own, he told me about the night he and his girlfriend had gotten ambushed, how they both tried to fight back, and how he ended up with a few bullet grazes while she ended up being murdered. He sometimes still feels guilty about her death, even though he'd tried to help her.

I need to focus on better topics. Recently, my world has gone dark and now has some light in it. The darkness needs to be destroyed.

I gnawed on the end of the pen, glaring down at the almost-full two pages of the journal. If my hand hadn't cramped up, I would have written a lot more.

I rested my head on my arms on the table. I was up thanks to Bayley, who was getting ready to leave for work. I couldn't understand how he did it, be a substitute teacher. I wondered if he had aspirations to become an actual teacher. I'd have to ask him about that sometime.

I shut the journal and grabbed my iPod, opening Safari. I bit my lip, curious. I hadn't dared to search for it before, because the pain and memories were still fresh. But it'd been two years since The Fall, so why not try and find my dad's blog? I remembered him mentioning it to me once.