Can't Stay Away (BBC Sherlock) -2-

44. All Is Forgiven

Rachel, answer me.

I'm not joking, this is serious. Where are you?

RACHEL. Mary and I are worried. Where are you? Please answer so we know nothing's happened.

I shook my head as I looked at Dad's texts. I wasn't up to answering; I wanted to be alone. This started since the middle of last night. Appledore had been the stage for my nightmare. It had replayed exactly how it had happened. It rattled me so badly that I woke up screaming. Dad was the one to come to me and calm me down. He ended up sleeping on the floor next to the loveseat in case it happened again.

I couldn't go back to sleep after that, I tried everything. I'd tiptoed out of the house, managing to find a cab. I told them the address and before long I was dropped off at Baker Street. The place was unlocked, which was a bit scary. Mrs. Hudson should know better than to leave 221B unlocked.

Mrs. H didn't hear me even though she should have with the annoying stairs that wanted to give me away. I stayed in the empty apartment once I got comfortable. I managed to fall asleep in Sherlock's chair, curled in a ball.

Somehow, the apartment made sleep easier to come by. I'd woken up to Dad's anxious texts this morning.

I'm fine. Don't worry. I couldn't ignore my dad all day; he'd have Scotland Yard start a search party for me if it came down to it.

Where are you? he sent immediately.

Why don't you come look for me?

I knew I was being snarky, but I was tired. Fatigue wasn't good for me. I was a bundle of negative emotions this morning, but mostly I felt numb.

I wanted to erase what had happened yesterday, what I had seen. It wasn't hard to wrap my head around, considering it was something Sherlock would do. It was hard to think that Sherlock would go to extreme lengths like killing someone, though. I knew people had suspicions that he'd done it before, killed someone. Even though it was seen as a good thing in my eyes, he was still labeled a murderer and had to be dealt with.

He wasn't in 221B; otherwise I would have been in panic mode right now, trying to think of ways to get him out of doing whatever was going to be asked of him. Instead, I was curled in his chair, staring into the kitchen with blank eyes. I cringed as I heard the echo of the gunshot ring in my head. It wasn't the first time I'd heard a gun go off, but it was certainly the first time I'd witnessed a murder.

Wait. No, that wasn't true. I'd seen a man murdered before. Let me clarify: this was the first time I'd seen Sherlock Holmes kill a man. I rubbed my forehead, wishing this wasn't happening.

"I don't know what you're going on about, Mary." Mrs. H's voice drifted up to my ears. "I haven't seen Rachel in quite some time."

"Are you sure you haven't seen her recently?"

"No. Do you think I'm lying for her?"

"No, I just want to make sure."

"If she had come by, I would have known—oh, she's actually here. Huh, how did I miss that?"

"Can you excuse us, Mrs. Hudson?"

"Of course, dear. Do you want anything?"

"I think we'll be fine, thank you."

"Call for me if you change your mind."

"Rachel?"

From the corner of my eye, I could see Mary slowly peek into my line of vision. I kept staring straight ahead into the kitchen.