Can't Stay Away (BBC Sherlock) -2-

36. What If

"You've got to be kidding!" Amanda gasped. "Seriously? Mary, your dad's Mary, was an assassin?"

"Hard to believe, right?" I looked at Sherlock, who was peacefully sleeping in his hospital bed. Dad and I had been coming the past few days to check in on him. If Mary ever visited, Sherlock never hinted at it nor did she ever say anything.

It was hard to think about Mary now, considering what Sherlock had deduced about her. She'd lost my trust and my dad's, and those weren't easy to gain back. Dad was lied to by the love of his life, and I had trust issues thanks to Moriarty. Good luck trying to get a Watson's trust after they've been deceived.

"How is he taking it?"

"I think he's getting better about it, but I don't think he'll forgive her anytime soon." I twirled a strand of blonde hair around my finger. "I hate to say it, Mandy, but the possibility of a divorce seems to be growing stronger."

"Eh, they'd stay together for the baby."

"That would be a hellish marriage." I blew air out noisily through my mouth. "They would both be miserable, and I'm sure the baby would grow up sensing it. I can picture it now, my half-sibling feeling guilty because they think they're the reason Mary and Dad act that way around one another."

"Maybe things will work out." Mandy tried to sound hopeful, but she didn't sound like she was convincing herself.

"If Dad forgives her, she better not expect me to do the same. I won't forgive her as quickly as he will, if he does."

A gentle knock brought my attention to Bayley. Our small fight we'd had a few nights ago was long behind us. I'd told Bay everything the following morning; he'd listened. He also kept me sane before I lost control and went on a rampage. No matter how many times I recalled the events, the anger, betrayal, and pain would resurface like a freshly reopened wound that had its scab picked off.

"I've got to go," I told Mandy. I hung up on her before she could say goodbye. I got out of the chair. "Did you book it?"

Bay nodded. "We're set for tomorrow."

"Good."

"Hungry?"

"Yeah. Know any good places?"

"I don't live here, Rach." He laughed. "I'll look into it."

"I'll be right out."

Bay smiled at me before leaving me alone with Sherlock. I looked back at the consulting detective, shaking my head sadly. Just how long would it be before he got himself killed solving cases? He'd had a near death experience, and if it wasn't for Mary, he wouldn't be here. So what if she saved his life? That's not enough to make me forgive her.

I did feel a little bad for Sherlock, so I gently massaged his curly head.

A lump knotted in my throat. I forced back the fake affair from my mind. It was nothing, it had been nothing. I wanted to believe that for me, but I couldn't. I'd genuinely believed there had been something, that for one moment, Sherlock Holmes was human and had a heart.

I guess he did have a heart, though, in a way. He'd told Dad and me that Mary was a liar and proved it with the stunt at Leinster Gardens. Instead of protecting us from the truth, he showed us, no matter how much it hurt. I guess he figured we would be in more danger not knowing.