Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool, has managed to get himself into the DC Universe. His world soon turns upside down when he falls in love with The Joker's main squeeze herself, Harley Quinn. Her crazy matches his crazy. And you, the luck...
It was another quiet night in Gotham. And Batman was out on patrol by himself. Everything seemed quiet. Or did it?
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He turned around, and behind him was Deadpool and Harley. "Don't worry Bats, we mean ya no harm," assured Harley, raising her hands to show that she had no tricks up her sleeves. Batman's eyes narrowed as he looked at Deadpool and asked, "who's the Deathstroke ripoff?"
"It's Deadpool, B-Man," corrected Deadpool. "That's impossible," said Batman, "you don't exist in this reality." He still said it in his gruff voice. "It's got ta do with the Multiverse and such," explained Harley. Batman nodded, understanding. "Question, did you fuck Batgirl?" asked Deadpool. "What?!?!? No!" Batman said, offended. "Look Bats, all jokes aside, we want to let ya know, we are sorry with what happened to Babs," said Harley in her non squeaky Brooklyn accent. Batman could tell she was almost ready to cry. "we want to make things right."
"Also, one other thing I heard," said Deadpool, "I heard that Joker wants to make Babs his trophy wife, and wants her to bear his child. He's kind of doing it as a fuck you type of thing. Which sounds totally fucked up if you ask me. I mean, what's he gonna do if that happens? Like, once the baby's born, he snatches it and dumps it into those chemicals that bleached him, making the twerp a literal Joker Jr? I'm sorry, but that's 50 Shades of Seriously Fucked Up!" Batman did nothing, but he looked sickened by what Joker intended to do to Barbara.
"Anyway you could see to it that never happens and that Barbara's okay?" asked Harley, who wiped a tear away.. "You have my word Harleen, Barbara will not be harmed," said Batman as he nodded. "Can you also tell Joker that if he even thinks about hurting Babs, that we'll fuck him up? Like Annie Wilkes hobbling Paul Sheldon in Misery fuck him up? Like, I'll hold him back while Harls literally rips off his manhood with a rusty knife? You don't have to say it word for word, but..." asked Deadpool. Batman cracked his knuckles and said, "gladly."
"Oh, and since Barbara's little brother was the cretin that ruined her life, can Deady Bear and I fuck him up?" asked Harley. Although baffled by the nickname, Batman said, "be my guest." He got out his grappling hook and said, "Oh, and Harleen. I'm glad to know that you found someone better that actually loves you." He then pressed the grappling hook, and flew away. Deadpool then did an evil laugh. "what a wonderful evil laugh!," said Harley as she and Wade left.
