Everybody Loves A Clown (A Deadpool and Harley Quinn Love Story)

Big Boss!

Harley and Deadpool went into the center of the lair, and there was Purple Man himself. He looked at the two, shocked. "Deadpool?" asked Purple Man, "How did you get back here? How did you regain your bloody memories?!?!?! And who's the bitch?" Harley glared at him and said, "what did you just call me?" Purple Man smirked. He loved provoking people.  "She helped me get back here. Bullet to the head, and she's my girlfriend," said Deadpool. Purple Man rolled his eyes as he said, "well love won't save you this time, you bollocks! Oh Jessica!" Jessica then came in, wearing a golden slave bikini like in Return of the Jedi. "destroy Deadpool, love," ordered Purple Man, and she charged at him, causing Deadpool to say "fuck, all the weapons in the world won't stop her..." She then tackled him, ready to use him as a punching bag.

"Forgive the misogynistic naming, but what is your name?" asked Purple Man. "Name's Harley Quinn," she replied, "and I doubt ya sorry for callin' me that. Ya regret it, Doc." Jessica constantly punched Wade like Phil Collins on the drums. "Ah, Harley Quinn," said Purple Man, "a play on the word harlequin jester. Clever. Why would you want to be with a freak like Wilson when you could be with a more handsome guy like me?" Harley glared at him and said, "sorry Scrooge McDuck, ya ain't my type. I don't like jerks that wear purple. Ya remind me of my ex." Normally, Purple Man could just take rejection and manipulate the said rejecter with no hesitation and do whatever pleases him. But Harley provoked him in a way he'd never felt in a long time. "What did you just call me?" he asked. "Ya heard me, Uncle Scrooge!" taunted Harley, realizing she found his weak spot. Zebediah Kilgrave HATED DuckTales. "Where's Huey, Dewey, and Louie?" she kept on taunting, making him mutter, "stop it..."

"Hey Wade, you like DuckTales?" asked Harley. Deadpool, though in a chokehold, said, "yeah, that show's awesome!" He kicked Jessica back, causing her to let him go. "Care ta sing the theme song with me?" asked Harley. "sure," said Wade, as he began to sing, "Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg." This caused Purple Man to cover his ears as Harley sang, "Race cars, laser, aeroplanes, it's a duck blur!"

"HULK!" yelled Purple Man as Wade sang, "Might solve a mystery, or rewrite history!" This caused Purple Man to yell, "Jessica, kill the clown girl!" Jessica was ready to charge at Harley but she saw her coming, dodging her attacks as she and Wade sang, "DuckTales! Woo-ooooh! Everyday they're out there making DuckTales! Woo-ooooh! Tales of daring do bad and good Luck Tales! Woo-ooooh!" This angered Purple Man to yell, "Kill that Merc!" Jessica was ready to charge at Wade, but he and Harley still sang the theme song, making Purple Man to tell Jessica to kill him, kill her, kill him, kill her, making poor Jessica run around in circles. By excellent timing, Hulk smashed in, and Purple Man screamed in annoyance, he couldn't take it anymore! "Hey Purple Fuck," said Harley, causing him to open his eyes, "say hello ta Beatrice!" She then whacked him with her giant mallet, causing him to land hard on the wall, and he fell. This caused his control on Jessica and Hulk to cease. Deadpool sighed in relief. "Where am Hulk?" asked Hulk. "It's okay big guy, just breathe in and slowly say Goose Fraba," said Harley. Hulk did that, and shrunk back down to Dr. Bruce Banner. "Dr. Banner, are you alright?" asked Jessica. Bruce rubbed his head and groaned, "all I remember is Purple Man ransacking my home, and telling me to Hulk out. Next thing I know, everything went black."

"Thank you Wade. Especially to you, Miss Quinn," commended Jessica, making Harley smile. "Alright, I got a motherfucker to kill," said Wade, and he walked up to Purple Man as he was still conscious, but crippled. Nobody stopped him. "You going to do it?" asked Purple Man, "or are you going to bring me in by the book?" Deadpool laughed and said, "bitch, please. I may be super, but I'm no hero. This ain't that type of superhero story. Tell Francis I said hello." He then pulled out his gun and shot Purple Man right between the eyes, got out his kitana and sliced his head off. "Now stay dead, you sick motherfucking son of cunt filled cock sucking fuck face!" yelled Deadpool, who then sighed in relief. "Better?" asked Jessica. "Yeah, much better." said Deadpool as he looked at Bruce Banner and asked, "hey Doc, any way you can activate the machine to the DC Universe?" Bruce nodded and said, "I can try."

"Don't do it Doc," said Harley, confusing Wade. "Harley, don't you want to go back home?" asked Deadpool. Harley hugged him and said, "I want to stay here with you Wade. I love you." Deadpool asked, "are you sure? What about your friends?" Harley smiled and said, "I'd rather be with you in this world than be alone in my home." She took off his mask and kissed Wade on the lips.