Finding My Husband's Heart

Chapter 44: The funeral

Sarah's POV

Around an hour after we saw him, John had quietly left us and this world behind in his sleep. It was very sad. I couldn't stop crying. Keith's face had a hard expression. Kiara and Avery sobbed along with me. Keith was crying silently after we went to his place. He didn't want me to see him like that so he asked Martin to drop me off at Lily's. I wanted to be there for him but he didn't want me there so I had to leave. 

The next morning was the funeral. People who wore fancy black suits to people who just wore a black shirt and who were working down the pub that john and my dad used to go to when they were able to were here. It just showed John was loved and cared for by everyone. From rich to average daily wage workers. I was still upset and tears were threatening to fall down my face. I let them go and it streaked down. I felt someone's thumb brush my cheeks and closed my eyes. When I opened them I was looking into Keith's deep grey eyes which were full of concern. I gave him an encouraging smile hoping it would help him. He needed the courage more than me. They settled the coffin in front of everyone and we all looked at John lying there peacefully.
***
It was time to read our eulogy. Avery went first and her speech was about how he was a great friend, a good husband and the best father. It moved me so much. I could see how much she loved him. Keith's turn was next. He climbed up and stood in front of the mic. His voice faltered a bit as he started.
"My father was a great man. He taught me how to play baseball up to how to buy profitable shares." "I hope I made him proud. I feel like there was a huge space in my life the moment you shut your eyes and left us and then I remembered that you always said, 'people you love are closer to your heart than they are physically and that is everything'."
He eyes met mine and left quickly. My heart ached for him. I couldn't stop the waterworks anymore.
He continued," I did everything as you told me dad, you were always wise to find what's perfect for me, I went chasing after my past and now I regret it deeply." He was directly gazing at me and we never broke eye contact.
"Now I realize, as you said the past is meant to stay in the past and the present is to be cherished." He swallowed. "I wish I had made you happier. I wish I spent more time with you for you were my first superhero and you always will be."
He stepped down. I heard Keith's aunt sniffle beside me. I couldn't stop my heart racing as I replayed everything he said. I had to talk to him. I wanted to be there for him. He regretted leaving me and I couldn't just leave him in this state for the sake of vengeance. I am not heartless.
***
After the ceremony was over, Keith didn't want to go back to his father's house. He told Martin to drive me to Lily's but I wanted to stay there with him. So we both went to his place.
He got down, I stumbled after him and he placed his hand on my back to steady me. His touch sent tingles through my back. We went in and shut the front door.
There was an awkwardly large silence between me and him. He asked me if I wanted a drink and I simply nodded.  We settled for vodka. He drowned three shots and I had just finished one. Tears were streaming down his face. I didn't know where the courage came from but I lifted my hand up to his face and wiped his tears. He eyes were glistening with tears and the pools of grey had so much of hidden feelings I wanted to unveil.
"You know I regret not giving us a shot."  He started.
"Keith, stop it."
"I know you can't trust me. I know you think twice before you let me into your life." He continued.
"I really want you in my life Sarah." He pleaded.
I couldn't. Not yet.
"No, Keith." I replied. Not so soon. We need to take time. His eyes were downcast and he looked broken.
"I can't forget what you did easily." I need time to forget. I continued justifying myself. I wanted to be there for him but I couldn't forget it all and act like a happily married couple. He took the bottle and took a swig.
"Keith!"
I pulled the bottle away from him and set it down on the table. He suddenly pulled me closer to him and my abdomen clashed against his waist. He lips hovered over mine. His eyes directly gazing into mine searchingly. My heart was beating erratically. His lips covered mine perfectly and he invaded my mouth. I was taken by surprise. I felt his tongue explore my mouth and he bit my lip. I groaned against him and kissed him back just as passionately.
He kept placing feather light kisses against the skin in my neck which sent shivers down my spine. He pulled away and I gasped in longing.
"Tell me you don't like this,Sarah."
"Tell me you didn't feel anything. I can feel your heartbeats Sarah. Its just the same as mine." Keith said very passionately. Placing my palm directly above his heart on his chest. His heart was racing and so was mine. His forehead was pressed against mine.
I couldn't lie. I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks giving me away. He gave me his signature smirk. "I thought so," he said. This guy was such a ugh... I stepped away from him.
I crossed my arms over my chest. He shook his head and sighed. I looked at him and he started to walk away from me.
"Do you remember when my father mentioned wanting grandkids?" He questioned me.
I gulped nervously. Yes. I clearly remembered that. I knew it would never happen. I simply nodded. He took long strides across the living room and wrapped his arm across my waist. I placed my palms flat against his chest. I met his eyes hesitantly. He looked at me full of wonder.
"I couldn't help imagining what our child would look like." He smiled to himself. My heart swelled. He dropped his arms and walked away from me. I really didn't know what made me do it but I grabbed his hand and pulled him close to me. I hugged him. He tensed and relaxed almost immediately.
"Your eyes would be great for the baby."
He giggled. Did he just giggle? Vodka...
"Blue."
"Grey."
"Blue." He said again wanting my eyes.
"Grey." I argued playing along.
"We'll just have to see, won't we." He replied and the next instant his lips captivated mine as we both fell backwards onto the couch.

Author's note: ta da another update. This book has passed 6K votes and is closed to having 200K reads. Come on guys can we hit a 200K for this book and 8K votes????!!!! Please show your support if you want another update ;)
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Love, Shahi