MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

Why i hate being fat

I'm writing this chapter to remind myself that I hate who I am right now and how uncomfortable I am with my body and if I ever feel like giving up I'll just read this.

I've been fat since I was born. 16 years of hating myself for how I look. I can't do anything without thinking about how fat I am and how much easier my life would be if I was thin.
I hate sitting and feeling my stomach roll around my waist, seeing my thighs struggle to fit on a chair.
I hate standing and feel my heavy stomach.
I hate that I can't even shower without spending 10 minutes crying because I can't see my toes, that my thighs looks ridiculously large.
I hate that whenever I get ready, the only thing I think about are how big my arms look , literally double the size of a normal arm and how every single day I make a line to divide the fat from the bone just to see how my arm would look if my arm was normal.
I hate that I can't look down without feeling my double chin.
I hate that I wear ugly baggy black clothes even thought I love fashion and dressing up just to hide myself.
I hate people who don't fucking understand that by saying stuff like "what are you taking about you're so thin !" Or "oh please you're so skinny you don't need to loose weight " they are not makings me feel better but worse because it means that my body is so bad that you have to go out of you're way to lie ...because let's be honest we are not thin .. so just keep your mouth shut if you're not gonna help.
I hate people who think they are being nice by forcing you to eat. If I'm not eating it means that I'm not hungry not because I'm shy.
I hate that the only thing I wish for is to loose weight.

I hope I didn't offend anyone.

(Edit from future me)
Oh my GOD this is so toxic of me!!! It's okay to have all these things!! The way that society pushed me to think all these things were unnatural and I was only 16!! Please please don't hate your body. The one thing I can say for sure is that hating your body is not gonna get you ANYWHERE. It's like drinking really really horrible medicine that doesn't help but instead makes things worse.