All She Wishes | Shawn Mendes | ✔

08. Of Wishes And Babies

"You may be sad because he doesn't treat you the way he should. But deep down, you're happy just knowing him."

~Sharon

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I had felt more than embarrassed after the little show I'd put up at the lake yesterday, so I was relieved when the Mendes' and I logged our baggage into the trunk to return back to town.

This time, I got to sit beside Shawn and I was ecstatic. We had ended up at the back. His cologne wafted into my nostrils, completely robbing me of my senses and I had to force myself from giving into the temptation scooting closer to him.

He looked out the window absent mindedly with a strand of his hair falling into his eyes, and I just knew that it was the best time to start up a conversation with him.

"Thanks for saving me yesterday," I said. I figured that I hadn't actually thanked him for what he had done.

"You're welcome," he replied stiffly, but then his voice grew softer. "Just me more careful next time, okay? I don't know what I would have done if you'd gotten hurt,"

My heart swelled. Did Shawn just give a hint that he cared about me or was I just thinking things up?

He'd been looking out the window the entire time, not even giving me the benefit of a sideways glance. But I didn't mind. Sitting beside him and hearing him say those words were enough to make my heart swell.

When he placed his right hand on the seat - right beside mine - and our fingers brushed, jolts of electricity coursed through me.

Shawn seemed shocked and looked down at our almost joined hands. He cleared his throat, looking up and then pulled his hand away. To be honest, it felt like a large part of me had just been ripped out.

My skin tingled at the place where our fingers had just come in contact and I know it seemed like I was only exaggerating, but come on, I was hopelessly in love with this boy.

I spent the rest of the drive back to Pickering, wondering what it'd be like to hold his hand. I was pretty sure that I'd turn to jelly immediately. But then, if holding Shawn's hand would make me turn to jelly, what would happen when he hugged me, or even kissed me? I'd probably just lose every bit of sanity I had. A smile lit up my face at the thoughts.

I was dropped off at my house and the Mendes' headed down the street to their house after our quick exchange of goodbyes.

I realized that I had actually enjoyed spending the weekend with their lot, despite my slip-ups.

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A part of me was sort of excited to go to school the next day. It seemed weird to say this, but I'd missed being confined by the four walls of a school. I took the familiar shortcut in the woods and arrived at the avenue for teaching, learning, and ogling Shawn when he wasn't looking.

I know. I'm a creep.

Students milled into the school in large numbers as they chatted excitedly with their friends and their laughter gave me a not-so-friendly reminder that I had no friends to tell my weekend experience with Shawn and his family to. A chilly feeling of emptiness washed over me as I briefly pondered on how I'd arrived at this completely friendless status.

I was pretty popular back at my old school in Vancouver. I'd lost all my friends when my parents and I moved to Pickering a little over a year ago.