SHATTERED

'The Jacket'

"Feeling so worthless in this thing called life.. Wonder how long could I ever survive?"

Jayson

I stared at Cole's journal.. Is this real??.. My hands were shaking too nervous to turn to the next page.. Suddenly someone knocked at my car window.. I looked up and smiled.. I rolled my window down.. "hey Joy! How you coping up??" I asked.. "I still cant believe about what happen" Joy started to cry.. "it was just so fast" she said as she wiped her tears.. "lunch with me??" i smiled at her.. "sure!" she smiled back at me

"McDonalds.. Cole's favorite fastfood" Joy smiled.. "his favorite thing to order is the Crispy chicken sandwich" she smiled as she continued recalling the past.. "found this" i said as i showed her the journal.. "i know you would" joy smiled at me..

"you know about this??" i asked shockly.. "i knew but ive never read it" joy replied.. We stopped as the waiter served our meals and took the waiting number.. "you see i dont know whats going on with Cole's mind.. He wont tell me.. Did he tell you??" joy said as she sliced the steak on her plate.. "no" i replied disappointingly.."whats inside his journal??" joy asked.. "we'll read it inside the car" i said.. "okay" joy agreed..

"maybe its my fault" i started to cry.. "jayson you know that its never your fault" joy replied trying to comfort me.. "i know that you know everything" i cried.. "its not you jay! Stop blaming yourself" joy scolded me.. "easy for you to say.. You never hurt him" i cried loudly..

"you think i dont blame myself about what happen?? I blamed myself every single time i looked at his coffin.. I kept telling myself i couldve been there for him you know.. I couldve stopped him from doing it!! But I didnt instead I had to left him on times he needed me the most.. You think i didnt blame myself?? I did!! But i have to accept the fact that hes gone.. Its hard but i have to and i expect you to do the same" joy started to cry.. "its not that easy" i cried.. "i know" she said as she hugged me.. "i know".. She took the journal and smiled at me.. "let me read this for you"

Cole

Silence filled the house.. My dad still didnt talk to me.. So is my mom.. I had to pretend that nothing happened.. I had to pretend that there's no one here.. It hurts not speaking to your parents just because you stand on your own dreams..

I grabbed my breakfast and ran outside.. This time Jayson was not around so I had to wait for the school bus.. The bus arrived 15 minutes later.. I went inside but the bus was full so I had to stand until we reach school.. People stared at me.. Some make fun of me.. I feel like I deserve this humiliation..

We reached school and people went down quickly one student bumped me so hard I had to sit on the floor.. I picked and dust myself up.. I can do this.. I kept telling myself.. Its just a bad day not a bad life.. I smiled as i tried to be positive..

I went inside the classroom and smiled as Joy proudly waved at me.. She smiled as she offered me a seat next to hers.. "i missed you" she smiled.. "you saw me yesterday" i frowned

"yeah but i didnt see you last night" she smiled again.. "felt like years" i agreed.. Class was over and i went directly to my locker to get my books.. "ill go ahead" joy smiled as she went towards our next class.. I opened my locker and put my english book inside and took my math book.. I was surprised as i closed the locker..

Jayson was smiling at me.. "sorry i was not able to drive you here" he said.. "no worries im fine" i smiled at him.. "can i at least drive you home??" jayson smiled.. "seriously jay i can handle myself.. Plus you have practice after school and i have to go home early cause my parents and I are not in good terms" i smiled.. "ill skip practice.. Coach cant kick me out.. Im like the greatest quarterback" he teased.. "youre crazy and dont you dare skip practice.. Or else" i warned him.. "or else what??" he asked.. "oh you heard me.. Or else" i smiled as i entered my next class

"surprise test today class!! Surprise!!" Mr. Hope smiled.. Joy and I exchanged looks.. "shit did you study??" i asked Joy.. Joy shook her head.. She was still shocked.. "we're doomed" joy said as mr. Hope handed the test papers.. Mr. Hope smiled as he handed me the test paper.. Mr. Hope his family name is quite ironic when hes a total terror..

I hate him.. Oops everyone hates him.. I wanted to cry as I read the test questions.. "the test is easy you have 10 minutes to answer it" mr. Hope smiled.. This is bullshit! Since when did math became easy??.. And how did you expect to finish a 50 item problem solving math test in 10 minutes?? Fuck this!!

I walked alone in the hallway depressed.. I cant even answer a single question.. What am I gonna do now?? My parents wanted me to become a doctor.. How am I suppose to become a doctor if i fail math??.. Tears fell from my eyes.. I cannot see my future.. If i continue can i even survive??.. Im so worthless so so worthless!!

"Cole Perry right??" a person asked me I turned around and saw someone smiling at me.. Valerie Martinez highschool sophomore.. Over achiever.. Straight A's president of the religious and math club.. "yes I am can I help you??" i smiled at her..

"Mr. Rodriguez has forfeited your presidency of the glee club" she smiled.. "he cant do that.. The members voted for me" i said still in shock.. "uh yes he can.. Your GPA has dropped down making you not qualified to be a president to any clubs" she smiled the bitchy smile.. Tears fell from my eyes.. "who will take my place??" i smiled..

"me! Glee club needs a president whos smart enough you know deal with it" she then walked away.. My world is going to crumble.. I cried as I walked down the hallway.. I am officially NOTHING..

I sat on the rooftop of my school and watched the sun sets.. While I wiped the tears from my eyes.. "tomorrow is another day" i kept on telling myself as once again I tried to be positive.. I stared down below and thought about jumping..

I closed my eyes ready to jump.. But I backed out.. My life is worth the kill.. I still have my friends.. I have Joy.. Theyre worth the living.. Then theres.. I smiled as i thought about his name.. "I knew I would find you here".. I turned around and saw Jayson smiling at me..

"i thought you have curfew??" jayson smiled.. "i have i texted my mom ill be home late cause of projects and stuff" i smiled back.. He sat beside me and stared into my eyes.. My heart beats faster as i stared into his eyes.. He smiled as he moved his face closer to mine.. I cant help but blush as I moved back.. He's kissable pinkish lips is like a magnet pulling me towards him.. "were you crying??" jayson asked..

I shook my head as I rubbed my eyes.. "hahaha youre so cute when you lie" jayson giggled.. "i am not crying" i argued.. "okay fine" jayson smiled.. He took off his leather jacket and placed it on me.. "this jacket has brought me good lucks.. I want you to have it.. Its just a bad day not a bad life" jayson said as he made me lean on his shoulder and wrapped his arm around me..

I went home and went directly to my room.. I lay on my bed and grabbed my notebook..

"Feeling so worthless in this thing called life.. Wonder how long could I ever survive?".. Suddenly my phone vibrated and smiled as I read the message..

"HAVE COURAGE YOU'RE WORTH IT!" Jayson texted..