My Hope

셑

*tiit* *tiit*

The hospital generator beeps every time the heart beat rises up and down. I can't feel my body as I was layered on a bed. I feel my body get numb and I couldn't move.

This must be a dream. I want to die. I want to be with my Hobi.

I love him and I want to be part of his world. I don't want to live anymore. Not without him by my side, making me smile every time he does silly things.

I miss his heart shape smile, I miss his voice, his laugh, the way he stares at my eyes that made my heart melt every time he bit his lips. And how he leaves love marks on my neck. I miss everything about him.

I miss Jung Hoseok. I miss him a lot.

My eyes forced a tear to come out, but nothing came. Maybe because my tears are no longer there, because I cried many times that I didn't know if there is anything left.

I wish this is just a dream. I wish I'm dead, I don't want to wake up without seeing his happy face.

He saved my mother and died. He was on my arms when he died that day. I couldn't do anything but just tell him how I love him how I feel about him every time his around, and how he makes me melt every time he to his things. I love him.

I just thought... I wish I am the one that died, not him.

It was my fault anyways. I am the one who killed Hoseok.

I killed him and I can never forgive myself for what I've done.

I will blame myself forever If I ever wake up in this mess again. I hope I die. I want to be with him.

He was my sunshine, my world. My life.

He stole half of my heart and he never got the chance to bring my other half back. I feel so incomplete. Lost. Depressed. I feel like the world is also sad because the sunshine just died. Darkness engulf the world as every memory Hoseok gave me came back.

"I don't want to live in this kind of world where I won't see you again."

"Memories are supposed to be forgotten but then it keeps coming back." I said as I lift up my arms staring at my arms covered with scars.

A tear left my eyes once again.

Jung Hoseok...

Why?

I want to die? Why did you save me again?

I want to be with you!

I love you Hoseok.

Always.

---

"Where's Y/n?" A familiar voice asked. I quickly close my eyes pretending be unconscious.

"I can see your eyes moving. Y/n." His voice was serious. I opened my eyes to see it was Jin. One of Hoseok's friends.

I smiled.

"How do you feel?" He asked. His smile never fades but his eyes were full of worries and pity.

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking." You tried to smile as tears started to form from your eyes. His smile faded and he sat at the edge of your bed. He reached out and wiped your tears. You cried more.