My Hope

여섯

I was really worried, about Y/n. She called me earlier. And her voice was messed up. I don't even know if she was just mocking with me. It was dark and I felt her pain.

Our conversation was not good.

[Hey honey. How have you been?]

[Honey? Are you there?]

[Are you doing fine?]

She didn't answer any of my questions, which made me worried.

[You called. I'm happy you called. Mom... Do you ever tell Hoseok about my condition?]

[You didn't tell him you have cancer?]

[No. And I regret it. I wish I have told him before. Maybe we spent more time together.]

[Hey, don't blame yourself, it happened for a reason.]

[Yeah right.]

[Mom. Can I ask you something?]

[Go on, I'm listening.]

[You said, not too long ago, that everything has a reason.]

[Yeah?]

[What do you mean by that? do you happened to know what reason why Hoseok died?]

[No response] I'm speechless. Would she really thought I'd do something or know something without telling her?

[Mom. I need answers.]

[Still no response]

[Okay, if you're not going to tell me. Please just listen to me.]

[I loved Hoseok. And i still can't get over with him. Mom, he was my hope, my sunshine. I didn't expect he would be gone too early.]

[Mom. I love Hoseok. I love him very much. I never wanted him to die.]

[Promises are meant to be broken right? I made a promise to Hoseok that I'll keep smiling, I'll stay alive and live my life to the fullest.]

[I may not be able to promise that anymore. Mom. He was my sunshine and my hope to everything.]

[And now that he's gone. I don't think I can keep that promise to myself. It's too much mom. I can't take away the pain. It's too much for me to bear every night and day, that I never see his happy face, hear his angelic voice, or even touch him. I can't take it.]

[I think it's time mom. I love you...]

[End call]

---
I'm afraid. What if she would do something to herself? Something bad, or worse. What does she mean by it? As a mother, I am worried that she might do the thing that I am thinking right now.

I'm worried about her condition.

She didn't know, she never did... the reason I've been hiding for years. why the man wants Hoseok.

Everything's so clear that time. I never expected everything's happened for a reason.

I want to let her know, yet I'm afraid she might kill herself once she find out that her grandfather want Hoseok be killed.

I have no choice that day, he was going to kill Y/n if Hoseok didn't come.

I don't really know why would father kill Hoseok.

But I pity Hoseok. He pleads for his life... but I didn't listen. Father didn't listen. Nobody listened.

Mianhae, my daughter.

---

After receiving her message, I'm aware of what's going to happen.

I quickly run towards her apartment. which was once Hoseok's apartment.

Everything I've done was wrong it's all my fault.

I entered her house finding the door open.

I quickly run upstairs to her room.

It was flooding.

Red water rush in the bathroom.

The door was lock.

I got more nervous.

I run to the drawer to find the key to the bathroom. My heart beats faster...

I feel painful throbbing in my heart.

I hate it. I hate me.

IT'S ALL MY FAULT!

MY FAULT!

I quickly inserted the key and twist the door.......

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To find Y/n on the bathtub surrounded by red stained water.

My world stops for a second.

My fault.

It was my fault.

All my fault.

The light of my future is dimming
Because of my childish love, I lost my way on a path of dream, the venom of my ambition, I sharpened my knife every day. But because of my uncontrollable greed, my knife became dull..
I know it all..
This love is another name for the devil
Don't hold her hand...I shouted but turned away from my conscience
I feel the sharp reality more every day
There's red blood from being torn apart by reality, I never thought that
The greed would become the trumpet heralding hell. Breathe.

My breath is getting shorter. I close my eyes every night from twisted reality. The music box of tragedy echoes. But in order to be free from this crime. It's impossible to forget and give up. Because those lips were too sweet

I threw my future away because I was drunk on dating. When I woke up, I was surrounded by land mines
Surrounded by people's stares that can't be touched. I shout for a miracle in this reality

It was crazy good. I was an idiot addicted to sweetness. Yeah, an idiot
I didn't want to let go of the devil's hand

...

I pulled her up out if the shallow red stained water.

As she gasped for air, coughing all the contents that blocked her air way.

She was fine....

But us she really?

......... TO BE CONTINUED?