Dancing Through the Minds of Twizzlers

Week 1- Meryl

A/N: Hello! This is my first ever fanfiction! Thanks for taking the time to read. Please let me know what you think, and if you find any mistakes, but please be nice about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Meryl Davis or Charlie White. Please note that this is a work of fiction and is no way affiliated with Meryl Davis, Charlie White or their personal lives. This did not really happen.

Summary: Meryl's thoughts on Charlie and Sharna's contemporary dance (week 1) and the following commentary from the judges.

Monday, March 17, 2014

"Dancing Contemporary, Charlie White and his partner, Sharna Burgess."

When she hears the beginning of Passenger's Let Her Go, Meryl Davis knows watching Charlie dance with a person who is not her is going to be a struggle. She doesn't know what the choreography of this dance looks like, but she sure as hell knows it's going to tug at her heart. Hearing a name that is not her own after his is painful, and the song that he and Sharna are dancing to just rubs salt into the open wound.

She figures she must have zoned out because all of a sudden she sees the lift; their lift. Her emotions are getting the better of her and jealousy and hurt course through her veins. She can't even describe how awful it is seeing the one person she loved the most performing their signature lift with another girl. A wave of sadness washes over her. She feels Mak's comforting hand on her back, and while it's nice, Meryl can't help but wish the hand belonged to Charlie.

The crowd gives a standing ovation at the finishing pose of the dance, breaking Meryl out of her train of thought. As team "SharChar" approaches the judges' table, Meryl's stomach fills with dread. "What if he scores better than I do? What will the judges have to say? Does he like having Sharna as a partner better than having me?" she thinks anxiously.

"Alright Carrie Ann, what do you have to say about this dance?" Tom asks. "Wow! I'm speechless! You two are a perfect match! That was poetry in motion, and I could watch it all day."

Perfect Match.

All the color drains from her face when she hears those two words. She feels like she's been punched. Her stomach drops to the floor, and suddenly it's too much; she has to get out of there. Meryl quietly excuses herself, and as soon as she's in the hallway, out of the camera's view, she's sliding down the wall with her head in her hands.

She knows she's being irrational, but she can't help but feel like she isn't good enough for Charlie. Her insecurities are starting to get the better of her. "Stop it, Meryl. You're being stupid. You just won a gold medal, and you are not a professional ballroom dancer. Stop beating yourself up," she tells herself. "You most definitely are good enough." All of a sudden she hears a giant roar come from the ballroom, and the excited voice of Erin Andrews comes floating through from the balcony. "That's a twenty seven out of thirty! That's the highest score of the night! How do you feel about that, Charlie?"

His clear voice sounds above the din, and Meryl finds complete comfort in it. "It feels great! We did the very best we could, and while there are still some things to work on, I'm very proud of our accomplishment." Erin's reply is lost to Meryl as she returns to her brooding.

She misses when Charlie's "us's" and "we's" meant him and her. She shakes her head. "What is wrong with me?" she thinks. "I need to get over myself." She feels like the separation anxiety is really hitting her hard. She doesn't realize how long she's been sitting there until she hears the gentle thump of bare heels on the floor approaching her. She doesn't bother to look up, thinking it's Maks. "I just can't right now, Maks. I'm completely fine. I'll be there soon, just give me a moment." She hears the person crouch down next to her. "Well Mer, you don't look completely fine. Why don't we take a walk and you can tell me what's bothering you."

Meryl's head shot up, eyes wide. Charlie is the last person she wants to find her here, in a vulnerable state, with makeup running down her cheeks. She doesn't know when she started sobbing, but at this point, she doesn't even care. There he is, kneeling in front of her, still dressed in costume, curly blonde hair falling in his eyes, with a worried expression on his face. She hums a sad note quietly and lays her head back down on her arms. She can hear the sound of Charlie's shirt rustling as he stands up, and suddenly she's being lifted off the cold tile floor and away from the wall by a pair of warm, strong arms. She instinctually moves her hands so they encircle his neck, puts her head on his shoulder and closes her red-rimmed eyes. She misses this; this closeness, even though it's only been a week; and she doesn't know what she'll do when they eventually retire and this won't be an everyday gesture anymore. She can't even bear to think about it.

But for now, she savors the moment, and they bask in a companionable silence; the only sound is Charlie's feet padding across the floor as he walks back towards the balcony. There's time to think later,and Meryl's sure she'll do plenty of it, but for now, it's her and Charlie, Davis and White, just like it should be.

And she wouldn't change it for the world.