Without a Clue {Diall}

Chapter Forty: The Solemn Boy

Chapter Forty word count: 8554 words

(a/n: chapter Forty warnings: very detailed descriptions of death; mentions of blood;)

It's so quiet. I never knew a room with so many people in it could ever feel this empty. Niall's standing beside me, fingers interlocked firmly with mine. Both of us are trying to comfort each other, but it's not really working all that well. Niall's got a black suit on, dress shoes black to match. His dress shirt is a pale blue; the one pop of color that stands out among the sadness.

We were asked to wear blue. It was his favorite color.

I'm wearing blue too, a dark, plain dress that doesn't really stand out all that much. I want to be anonymous today. It's too hard of a day for anyone to make it even more difficult by following us around. We need time to grieve. This family needs time to grieve.

A kid should never be taken from this world. He was so young, had so much life to live. He was sick for so long, though, and I've heard so many people here thanking God that he's not in pain anymore. I can't imagine having to go through that with my own child. If G were that sick, if Grayson died, I'd never recover. I'd never leave my home again. I'd shut everything out because my whole heart would be gone. All of it. I'd never get past it. I don't know how anyone does. Maybe they're just stronger than I am.

Niall's talking amongst the family, chatting aimlessly as I look around for Elliot. I know he's got to be here, but I haven't seen him once since we arrived a while ago. I try to ignore the closed casket sitting up in the front of the room. It causes an ache deep inside me, pulls my heart out, and smashes it forcefully against the ground. I feel tears pricking the corner of my eyes as I look away, trying to forget the image as quickly as possible. I'll cry later. I can't do that again now. Not right now. I need to find Elliot. I've got to find him and check on him.

Elliot hasn't got anyone right now. Actually, he's got me and Niall. He's got us, and we're never going to abandon him. He's a part of our family now, and just because something so terrible happened doesn't mean we're going to leave him on his own. Just because it's hard doesn't mean we'll skip out on him.

"Have you seen Elliot?" I ask the couple Niall and I are chatting to once there's a break in the conversation.

"I think he's over near the food, love." The older woman says, nodding her head towards behind me. I nod gently, and Niall and I both quietly excuse ourselves from the room. He's got the same exact thought as me. We've got to find Elliot.

It's pretty easy to spot Elliot, honestly. When Niall and I walk into the other room. He's sitting away from everyone else, hiding in the back corner. He's crying softly, hands clutching a pale blue stuffed elephant so tight his fingers are turning white. He's breathing hard, teardrops creating a pattern on his blue shirt as they fall from where they're collecting along his jawline. We walk towards Elliot slowly, watching as everyone else in the room carefully stays away from him.

"Hey, lad." Niall says when he realizes I'm not going to say anything. I can't. I don't know what so say. There's nothing I can say to make this better. I'll just start crying again if I try to talk. Elliot looks up at Niall and I then, his tears still flowing pretty steadily still.

"I didn't kn-ow you were coming." Elliot chokes out through his tears as I pull up a seat next to him, followed by Niall.

"Of course we came." Niall says. I've got my arms around Elliot then, and he cries into my shoulder. It's so sad. He's all alone. He hasn't got anyone besides Niall and I. Of course we're right here next to him, and of course we're going to support him, but Ollie's the only one who's ever really cared enough to be a permanent part of his life, who's ever really known him well. That only makes this worse for Elliot. Being so alone right now, no family, no Ollie.