I'll Be Better Tomorrow (frerard)

Chicago and Friends :)

Frank had bought a plane ticket to Chicago and was at the airport before he started to feel worried about Gerard again. What if Gerard died and Frank was halfway across the country, or if Gerard had a change of heart, if Gerard wanted Frank again...

He had already told those who would worry about him that he was going to Chicago, and he went alone. The temporary change would be good, the break in constant sorrow from their home in Vegas. He might even need a permanent change if he was going to lose Gerard from his life forever.

Frank never could sleep on planes, yet he was still asleep when the plane was landing in Chicago. Everything going on kept getting more and more exhausting. He wondered if that was what Gerard felt like as his sickness continued, but Frank went back on that. Never in his life would he feel pain to the extreme that Gerard had.

Frank couldn't help the urge of protectiveness he had, the instinct to keep him safe and comforted.

Naturally, Frank thought about that way too much, dreaming of how much he wanted to see Gerard again. He cried in the airport bathroom, silently, attempting to make himself seem as normal as possible again when he saw Pete. His eyes were still red, as he couldn't stop the tears from welling up over and over.

Pete helped him put his bag in the back of the car, and drove him out of the airport parking lot. "How was your flight?" Pete asked casually, acting like he didn't notice the burning red around Frank's eyes.

"It was okay," Frank managed.

"That's good. You'll probably just want to sleep when we get back, huh?"

"I don't know if I can."

"You can at least try, if you want." Pete shook his head. "I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now."

Frank looked out the window. "I can't when I'm thinking about him."

"Maybe... maybe we should find something to do out here, take your mind off everything going on in Vegas."

"Yeah. Maybe," Frank said, though he didn't believe anything would be able to shift his focus from Gerard.

"I think I'll call up the guys and we can go out for dinner or something," Pete said, but he was somehow still sounding concerned about Frank.

Frank knew he seemed cold and standoffish, and he didn't want to be like that with Pete, but he felt distant from reality as a whole, half lost in thought. "Thank you for letting me come out here, really," Frank said.

"It's the least I could do.

<<<<<>>>>>

Frank had no choice but to open up - hanging out with Pete, Patrick, Joe, and Andy, he got choked up at the mention of the band. "We were invited to play the VMAs since MCR declined," Patrick said. They'd been discussing the schedule of Fall Out Boy for the rest of the summer, but Frank only became truly aware at the mention of MCR.

"Declined?" He asked. He couldn't say he was surprised, but he hadn't had any part in declining to perform - he didn't even known they had the opportunity. All he knew was that they had been nominated for video of the year. Gerard would've been the one with all the details, expected to pass it on to Frank.

"Yeah, Gerard, um, did that," Patrick said. Pete must have told them that Gerard left Frank, as it was touchy.

Gerard had accepted that he wouldn't be able to perform again. Frank wondered if he was completely beside himself at having to do that. "I feel so bad for him," Frank said, and that was when his voice caught.

Everyone was quiet in order to listen to him, and maybe it was because they didn't know what to say.

"It's just, like, it wasn't really his choice, you know? He told me he still wanted to perform, he would've loved to have been able to do this."

"It's not realistic for him to do that. He made the right decision," Pete said, carefully. Frank knew it was really for the best that Gerard didn't perform, as he couldn't walk, couldn't sing. Frank was hurt that Gerard didn't at least call him to tell him such important news for the band.

Gerard really did want to cut all ties with him. Frank couldn't bear it. "I wish he'd told me. I wish I could've been there with him to help him cope. I - I miss him so much, I just -"

"You could go back to him," Andy said.

"He doesn't want to see me again."

"Maybe he regrets it," Joe added.

"He loves you," Pete said. "It wouldn't be surprising if he just took you back."

"Maybe you should consider it," Patrick said. "He probably still wants your support."

Frank was quiet once more, processing.

"You should try, Frank, when you go back home. You're just going to keep missing him more and more of you don't do anything," Pete said.

"But what if he still doesn't want to get back together? Then - then I think it'll just be worse."

"It'll just get worse right now," Patrick said.

"Take the risk," Andy recommended.

Frank considered it, thought about simply walking into Gerard's hospital room one day, unexpected to him, and sitting down to tell him how much he missed him. In the best scenario, Gerard would ask him to stay, would still want Frank with him until the end. Frank feared it would go the opposite way for him - that it was more likely for Gerard to tell him to leave again and never come back. Frank didn't know how he'd be able to handle that, but he couldn't live with where he was without Gerard.

He felt it would be too unresolved if Gerard died and the last time they saw each other was when Gerard broke up with him.

The longer he sat on the idea, the more he felt he needed to see Gerard.

A couple days passed of Frank staying in Chicago, and Pete comforted him every time he cried, every time he talked about Gerard. He felt better in Chicago, being able to go around town and hang out with Pete. He could get distracted from constant thought of Gerard for the first time in months.

It helped him have the courage to go back to Vegas with the plan of getting back together with Gerard.

With the bit of hope, he couldn't control being wrapped up in the idea of having Gerard again, completely. It seemed such a bright outlook, he couldn't feel too worried. He wasn't prepared to in the slightest for another heartbreak.