Hurt But Not Broken

Chp 21 ~ Sadism

Leonardo's POV

My head felt like a whoopie cushion. I felt like someone had hit me repeatedly across the skull with their fists. I opened my aching eyes and saw that I was still staring at the dark white roof that almost looked... yellow? I blinked and groaned, trying to rub my face but finding that I couldn't move my hands... or my feet?

I panicked until memories flooded to me in a rush. Razhar hurting Karai, I stabbed Fishface, so much blood, Razhar kidnaps me, Shredder tortures me, I hold my tongue, being strapped down, being hit with a bō staff, injected with something made in hell, seeing Mikey...

Fresh hot tears flooded my eyesight and I tried to keep them at bay. I clenched my eyes shut and felt them run down both sides of my face. Mikey was so upset, he wants me to live... I'd love to... but it's not exactly my choice anymore!

God, why was this happening to me? 

I opened my eyes, which were slightly less blurry than before, and swallowed my emotions before Shredder could come in and see. If I died it would be with honour and the fact that I gave him no satisfaction of seeing me break!

"I'm a person too..." I muttered sadly to myself as I let the rest of my emotions locked away deep in my brain. A shuffle causes me to jerk in shock and my heart to jump into a panic. I turned my head to see Tigerclaw, arms crossed over his big chest, staring at me with no emotion. I felt my face heat in embarrassment and anger. 

How long had he been sitting there? 

Why didn't I sense or see him? 

Did he see me cry?

"I see you're awake," He stated the obvious and if I didn't know any better he sounded awkward, "How do you feel?"

My surprise and confusion went right out of the imaginary window as I glanced hotly at him. "I was just injected with a drug from hell that caused me so much pain I blacked out so how do you think I feel?"

He pursed his lips unhappily as his one eye narrowed but I did not feel scared anymore. He stood slowly and looked over his shoulder for some reason.

"Are you still in pain? How bad is it?" He asked me seriously but almost as if something important depended on my answer. I rose an eye-ridge at him.

"Of course I am still in pain. It feels like my head is a baseball field!" I growled while glaring at him. I didn't trust him or anyone else here. "Why are you even asking? Making sure I'm in as much pain as possible for as long as possible is that it?"

He said nothing but walked over with a syringe that made my eyes bug out of my head. I tried to escape but he injected the contents in my arm. I almost gasped and waited for the pain, willing it to all be over, but he glanced up at me in almost amusement. "It is for pain relief, young cub." I gaped at him like a particularly stupid fish. 

Was he giving me something for pain? 

Or was kindness a part of his game? 

I quickly shook my head and narrowed my eyes at him, feeling a coolness in my arm where he injected the contents of the needle. It was a bit uncomfortable but not painful at least.

"Why would you do that?" I practically snarled at him but he was, again, unfazed by this. He stuffed away the syringe in his vest.

"The Shredder thinks that it is for pain but it actually relieves it. Unless you have a death wish or a scheme against me you might not wish to let him know that I gave this to you," Tigerclaw replied in a hushed tone. I said nothing and let his words process. I flinched when he leaned close to me, "I do not like you personally, cub, but I do admire your spirit. I also do not like this method of things that the Shredder has chosen to do."