Beloved

Always Keep Fighting

I heard them talking. I heard theconcerned voice of my husband and the sad voice of Castiel. I heardother people making weird noises...wait. Was that sobbing I heard?There was someone sitting next to me, crying. I struggled hard, usingall the strength I had to open my eyes and look at the person thatcried but my body didn't listen to me. I tried to open my mouth so Icould tell everyone that I was fine but again my body didn't respond.It seemed like I was paralyzed, my mind screaming to make everyone inthe room listen but not a single word came out of my mouth. ''She isstill breathing but she's weak, Jared.'' I heard Cas saying andstopped trying to move my body. I needed to know what my angel had tosay. ''How bad is it?'' Jare asked him, his voice shaky. He soundedso fragile, as if he would break down any second. Who was the onecrying? ''Bad. We have to be quick. Alice had her first heart attack,that means time is running out. She could be gone every minute fromnow on.'' the feather told the people in my room and I again tried totell them I was fine. I didn't understand what they were talkingabout. I was alright, wasn't I? ''Is she gonna wake up?'' I heard avoice asking that sounded so much like Cas but it wasn't him. It wasMisha. ''I can't guarantee that but I hope she will. We better hurryand get the ingredients for Rowena so she can do the spell. It'sgoing to -'' Cas said but suddenly stopped in the middle of hislittle speech. I could feel a warm hand on my stomach area andsomething that felt like a feather stroking up and down. I knew thisfeeling too well. It was the angel's hand and he was using his mojoon me. ''What? Cas what is it? Is something wrong? Is it bad?'' Jaredidn't stop asking, even more concerned than before. The whole roomseemed to be totally silent for a long moment before my angel finallyspoke up again. ''It's nothing bad. It's good, although, maybe it'snot the best time.'' Castiel said more to himself than to the othersand it sounded like he was thinking hard. After another moment oftotal silence, Jare exploded. ''Cas! What the hell is going on?!'' heasked, getting upset. What was it? What did the feather find thatcould make him say something like this? ''I guess your sexual energyis strong, Jared.'' Castiel told my husband and I was sure that thiswas the most awkward thing he had ever said and other than that, whatdid this even mean? Suddenly, I felt more of those light featherstrokes but this time it was different. It was a bigger hand placedon my tummy and I knew it could only be an archangel touching me. Theperson next to me stopped sobbing completely, seeming to be shockedby the choice of words Cas had used. I heard that same angel that hadjust touched me speaking up. ''Alice is pregnant, Jared. She ispregnant again.'' Gabriel explained and it sounded like he wassmiling. Wait...did he just say pregnant? How was this possible?That's why I had been throwing up and why it wasn't blood I spit out.It was a normal pregnancy sickness. The whole room was quiet againand all I could hear was all of them seeming to hold their breath.Wasn't it dangerous to get pregnant in such a short time after givingbirth? Suddenly, I heard even more sobbing. This time, it came fromanother direction and I knew within seconds that it was my husbandcrying. I got him. I understood why he was upset. It wasn't happytears falling from his cheeks because there was no reason to be happyabout this. It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. This was so freakingunfair. Jare's unborn child would die together with it's mother. Withhis wife. I was pregnant with another tiny person but this time, Iwouldn't be able to hold it in my arms. Why? Why us? Why me? You hearrumors or you watch TV, seeing strangers tragic stories being toldand you think that something like that could never happen to you. Youcould never lose a family member in a plane crash or lose a goodfriend because of cancer and then all of the sudden, when you leastexpect it, a tragedy hits you right in the face. And then you loseeverything. Hell, Lucifer's cage, purgatory, possession. Horriblethings but I went through them. I got out and away from all of that.I left it behind and kept fighting and what for? To die and take myunborn baby with me? To lose the only family I had left? To watcheverything I have burn? My son, my husband, my friends. Everythingseemed to fade in a matter of seconds. ''We'll leave you alone for awhile.'' I heard Jensen whisper and closed the door. This was thelast thing I heard before passing out again.