I honestly never want to show my face at this school ever again. I can never escape him. He's there wherever I may be.
All my friends tell me to not get my hopes up, but they can't make decisions for me. Like, I've done this before, no need to worry about me.
Why can't i get him out of my head?
It's not like I can make him stop, he has no idea. I hope he never finds out, if he does, I'll be the laughing stock of the fucking school. I've never really fit in here, I've just accepted it at this point.
All I do is fall asleep wishing I was in your arms and I wake up and do absolutely nothing about it. It breaks my heart.
I'm seriously so pathetic. I'm nearly eighteen and I'm so alone. I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis and I'm only seventeen. That's so tragic.
I don't understand my motive, why you? What's so special about you. I can't even find a reason. I think it's everything about you tied up into one thing. Just because you're so apologetically you. Something I wish I was.
I wish I was blonde, and skinny, and sporty, then maybe you'd look at me more than once. And that one time was at homecoming and that is the only time I will ever look that good so...that's that. And I don't even know why I try at this point anymore, Not sure where I get the confidence to keep going after stupid boys that will never crave my attention the way I crave theirs. I keep getting shut down every single time I catch feelings and they are all so rude about it.
My therapist was like "wow, you're doing everything you can." and i'm like "Yeah...pretty much." I just don't see things looking up for me in the future. First work, school, drama, stupid bitches at my school, and now...this. I do not need this right now.
