I can't believe I was dumb enough to believe you when you told me you were different from all the other guys. I can't believe i let you in. I just thought you were different. You told me all these sweet things, when usually guys only hit me up for a hookup. I thought you were different. He told you I was easy, and you believed him. I cant believe you. You lied to me, you wasted my time.
I trusted you, I told you everything there is to know about me. I told you my insecurities, I showed you my flaws, I was vulnerable. You'd always tell me how pretty I was or how I looked good in a certain outfit. Why am I so fucking stupid.
Im tired of wasting my time, I saw a future between the two of us. Just because I wouldn't put out? really? This sadness will never pass. Just when i think it goes away, it creeps right back up on me. Im sick and tired of crying everyday. Im so tired of writing sad songs about these lousy ass guys that break my heart. I give them the power to break my heart when i know i shouldn't.
I hope he feels bad.
I hope he feels like he's going through hell.
But in reality he's probably out there fucking other bitches whilst i'm sat here stoned, crying, and alone. and that's gonna be how it is for the rest of my life.
I took a 13 hour depression nap and it did no good. I feel so fucking lousy. i feel so fucking idiotic. i feel so fucking useless. i feel drained. its a whole lot of emotions and its too much for me to handle.
I literally give my all and i always end up fucking shit up for me. i try . i really fucking do.
my heart is absolutely broken. i don't know why people feel the need to treat other humans like this.
Its sickening.
i'm sick to my stomach.
maybe its my fault he didn't want me.
maybe its because i'm fat, or ugly, or just overall a bore. I can't do this anymore .
