this imagine is for @MrsMarvelKnight
i hope u like this one dear reader!!! thanks for requesting 💓
"When can you come over?" Jason, my boyfriend asks over the phone.
I look over at the clock in my kitchen and see that it's reads 2:24.
"Im free anytime. I just got back from school." I answer him.
Jason is a freshman in college while I'm a senior in high school. It isn't hard to maintain our relationship considering he goes to Hollis which is still in town. Honestly, I think this is the best we've been.
"Okay, you can head over now." Jason states.
"Alright, sounds good."
And with that I hang up the phone, get in my car and head over to Hollis. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I continue driving. Of course you're supposed to look in your rear view mirror but after everything with A, it's become second nature. I'm always having to look over my shoulder. I'm practically plagued by paranoia.
Giddiness begins setting in right along with love and warmth. Jason makes me feel alive, he makes me feel free.
As I pull into the parking lot, exit the car and start walking up the many steps to Jason's dorm building, I spot him outside already. It appears as if he is talking to someone, or rather arguing.
That's when I see the familiar short blonde hair that belongs to Hanna. I furrow my eyebrows and continue walking closer and closer to the pair.
It's what happens next that sends my mind into complete chaos.
They kiss. They fucking kiss. Hanna's hand rest against Jason's chest where mine usually lay. I stumble over my feet a few times before briskly and quietly rushing back to my car.
As I climb into the driver seat, I allow all my emotions to cover me. Anger, sadness, confusion and inadequacy flood my mind.
Not only was that my boyfriend cheating but my own best friend completely betrayed me. We've been through everything together!
The drive back to my house was painful considering I had time to really think about what just transpired. My heart is aching so badly and all I want are answers. I didn't think Jason was capable of such a thing. I thought he would never hurt me. He's always shown his love for me. He constantly tells me how beautiful I am, how lucky he is to have me but after this, I can't help but to doubt myself.
Is it me?
Did I do something to drive him to cheat on me?
I push all of these thoughts to the back of my mind as I pull into my driveway. I instantly see my mother's car and take a deep breath before walking in. I don't want her to see my shaken state and ask me what's wrong. I don't want to explain to her what happened.
As I walk through the front door, I immediately go to my bathroom that is in my bedroom, lock the door and then collapse to the ground. My hand flies over my mouth in attempts to quiet my sobs. My hand grips the counter as I let myself fall apart.
"Ellenora? Are you okay?" my mom shouts from downstairs.
My eyes widen and I quickly regain my composure.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine!" I tell back down to her.
After a couple more minutes of being completely and utterly broken, I notice my phone light up. It's a text from Jason. I'm surprised he had time to text me in between shoving his tongue down Hanna's throat.
Hey, where are you?
I scoff at his obliviousness and wait a few minutes before texting him back. I'll let him stress. Hastily, I wipe my under eyes free of tears and mascara. I run my hands through my tangled, damp hair and take to my bed.
I allow the blankets and sheets and pillows to comfort me with their soft embrace. As I lay there, the silence starts affecting me. I think about every flaw I have, every stretch mark, bruise and imperfection. I'm drowning in my insecurities.
Why was I not enough?
Home
Some may look at this situation and think that I'm overreacting, that this relationship was bound to collapse and that I should just let it but to me, this is real. This is happening and it fucking hurts.
It's been about a half hour since I replied to Jason and just as I'm about to fall asleep, I hear a car door slam. For some reason, my instincts tell me it's him.
I drag myself out of my comfy bed and to my window where I see Jason exiting his car and walking up the porch steps. My heart plummets into my stomach as I race around my room, trying to look normal. I end up sitting on my bed, my phone in my hands to distract myself.
Within seconds, Jason is knocking on my door. I don't answer though. I let him walk in. A smile is painted on his face as he sees that I'm alright.
"Where were you?" he questions as he runs a hand through his hair.
I don't answer him. I allow him to bask in the uncertainty of our predicament. He deserves it.
"Ellenora? What's wrong? Did I do something?" he asks while taking a few steps closer to me. I stare back at him, anger present on my face.
"I saw you today." I state coldly, my words laced with malice.
He still looks confused. Is he actually still trying to maintain this charade? Does he genuinely think I'm that stupid?
"With Hanna." I clarify.
And just like that, the color is drained from his face, his eyes go wide and his mouth parts. I shake my head and scoff at him.
"Ellenora, it really wasn't what it looked like. I swear to you. I would never hurt you."
"Well you did!" I yell. "You did hurt me Jason."
He rushes forward and takes a seat next to me in my bed. When he tries to rest his hand on my leg I scoot away, not wanting to be touched by him.
"Look, Hanna showed up there and stared accusing me of working on the A team. That's why we were arguing. I think she was messed up cause it went from us arguing to her kissing me. I didn't kiss her back Ellenora. You have to believe me. I wouldn't hurt you."
His excuse seems legitimate. I know Jason wouldn't intentionally hurt me. Our love is too strong for him to cheat on me. I want to believe him.
But I still can't help this nagging thought in the back of my mind that this didn't have to do with me and how I look.
"So you didn't kiss her because of me?" I ask for my own reassurance.
His eyebrows knit together at my question. He inches closer and this time I don't push him away. I allow him to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me into his lap. Tears begin pooling in my eyes as he brushes a stand of hair away from my face.
"What do you mean?" he asks quietly.
"Am I not enough or-"
I'm cut off my Jason speaking.
"No. Ellenora, like I said, I didn't ask for Hanna to kiss me. What happened does not reflect back on you. You are more than enough babygirl. Do you understand me?" Jason explains sternly.
I nod my head and then bury my face into his shoulder, his hands resting on my waist.
"I love you so much." he tells me.
"I love you too."
